Today, I was spinning some yarn around to make my new cat run in circles. After about 10 seconds, he stopped going in circles and went straight ahead, happily running several feet into the wall and knocking himself out. My bowel movements have more brain-power than this thing. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my kitten decided that having diarrhea was not a good enough reason to stop running in circles around my living room. FML
Today, my cat had a long dingleberry hanging off his butt. He decided the best way to get rid of it was to freak out and run around the house, shaking shit everywhere. To make it worse, he then licked his still shit covered butt, made a face and promptly threw up. Guess my cat isn’t the brightest. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Today, I got an exercise wheel for my cat. He took a nap on it. FML
Today, I watched as my poor old cat dragged his ass across our living room carpet, leaving an equally long shit stain on our pristine carpet. My pleas for him to stop only made his diarrhea worse as he ran off. FML
Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML
Today, I got into bed as my cat crept under it. I then heard him gagging, so I instantly got back up to get him out, because my floor is carpeted. As I pulled him into the hall, he flew upwards, made a horrific "Blagh!" sound, projectile vomited everywhere, then hit the wall and ran. FML
Today, I bought my cat a catnip-filled toy that's shaped like a fish. He pounced on it, wrestled with it, and then got so scared of it for no reason that he dashed full speed into the wall. FML
Today, my cat woke me up by vomiting a big, warm, stinky hairball on my neck and then left. I think she was smiling as she trotted away. FML
Today, I bought my cat a nice big bag of expensive anti-hairball catfood, so she'd stop puking hairballs on my things. After eating it, she started running around wildly, howling and projectile vomiting on EVERYTHING. FML
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Top comments
cdgrayson 21
Me-ow
koolkanga 12
Well, much like your bowels, maybe he had a brain fart.
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Comments (109)
naajster 14
I bet your bowel movements can't chase a ball of yarn around in circles, OP
oJoy 11
haha I love cats
fictionaldiary 11
Wow. You're a dick. You made him dizzy and then call him stupid for being dizzy? Your bowel movements have more brain power than you do.
kbecks87 16
Well that was mean. Maybe you shouldn't have cats.
domolovesyoshi 33
no, you're stupid for not realising that your cat ran into a wall because you made it run in circles.
pimrol 16
oh, gee
honeymoonroyale 20
I mean you did make him dizzy -_- spinning around like that tends to make that happen. Just saying.
knoxxx 22
My cat used to kinda flop down and wait while his head wobbled a bit when he got too dizzy, it was cute. Now he knows to stop before he gets that dizzy. Silly little kitties! Maybe you should, uh, have some compassion and hold back a bit on the ribbon spinning?
Forenzics 10
U made him dizzy. By the sound of your post your cat has more brains then you! YDI
SnowFangedBeauty 19
My cat is just as stupid too she skids down our halls into walls -.- love her to death though