Today, I was spinning some yarn around to make my new cat run in circles. After about 10 seconds, he stopped going in circles and went straight ahead, happily running several feet into the wall and knocking himself out. My bowel movements have more brain-power than this thing. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my kitten decided that having diarrhea was not a good enough reason to stop running in circles around my living room. FML
Today, my cat had a long dingleberry hanging off his butt. He decided the best way to get rid of it was to freak out and run around the house, shaking shit everywhere. To make it worse, he then licked his still shit covered butt, made a face and promptly threw up. Guess my cat isn’t the brightest. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Today, I got an exercise wheel for my cat. He took a nap on it. FML
Today, I watched as my poor old cat dragged his ass across our living room carpet, leaving an equally long shit stain on our pristine carpet. My pleas for him to stop only made his diarrhea worse as he ran off. FML
Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML
Today, I got into bed as my cat crept under it. I then heard him gagging, so I instantly got back up to get him out, because my floor is carpeted. As I pulled him into the hall, he flew upwards, made a horrific "Blagh!" sound, projectile vomited everywhere, then hit the wall and ran. FML
Today, I bought my cat a catnip-filled toy that's shaped like a fish. He pounced on it, wrestled with it, and then got so scared of it for no reason that he dashed full speed into the wall. FML
Today, my cat woke me up by vomiting a big, warm, stinky hairball on my neck and then left. I think she was smiling as she trotted away. FML
Today, I bought my cat a nice big bag of expensive anti-hairball catfood, so she'd stop puking hairballs on my things. After eating it, she started running around wildly, howling and projectile vomiting on EVERYTHING. FML
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Top comments
cdgrayson 21
Me-ow
koolkanga 12
Well, much like your bowels, maybe he had a brain fart.
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Comments (109)
ginger196 14
Stupid actions by pets are really cute
ZodiacalComa7 11
Your cat is broken.
WMFG16 14
Think it MIGHT be possible that he was insanely dizzy? just a thought.
Sheh_fml 25
If I was you, I wouldn't be praising myself too much seeing how you were playing with YARN, which is dangerous to cats. Yeah, we've al seen the cartoon kitty play with a ball of yarn and drink milk, but if he/she actually swallowed some yarn it can cause serious intestinal problem, if the cat doesn't choke on it first. A cat's tongue is a tiny rug of needles, once that get a grip of the yarn you can't pull it out of their mouth. Cartoons are lies, and if you get a cat you should now those things.
weveallbeenthere 30
maybe he was tired of you and tried to end his misery.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Not cool OP, you got a cat dizzy and then call him stupid for knocking himself out? And you call your pet "thing"? I think he'd be better off with a new owner.
incredared89 2
Dogs are better!
buckdharma 38
Since you call your pet a thing and compare it to shit, maybe you're the stupid one.
Omniprism 15
Be nice. You'd be dizzy too if you ran in circles for a few minutes you ass. Sounds like you shouldn't own animals if you don't have empathy.
cjwayy 22
I have a pug who's pretty special. He does stuff like that all the time.