Today, I was snuggling in bed with my girlfriend. She was depressed, so I complimented her strong legs, saying they were "like a horse." I spent the next hour and a half trying to stop her crying. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, i told my boyfriend that I wasn't feeling emotionally well, and wanted cuddles. He proceeded to hump my leg. FML
Today, my girlfriend was upset, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her how much I love her and how beautiful she is. After a minute, her face started to light up. I thought it had worked until I realized that she was being cheered up by the friends she was talking to online. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a speech on me "not being manly enough". I started crying. FML
Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML
Today, my girl and I were in bed trying to nap before class. She kept tossing and turning, obvious signs that she was having no luck. Sweetly, I ask her if there was anything I could do to help her relax. She says "you can tell me a story about your day, that always puts me to sleep". FML
Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML
Today, I was really depressed so I talked on the phone with my best friend. She was telling me how a guy she really liked complimented her. I told her it was be nice to get at least one compliment. After a long silence she says, "You're really good with computers." FML
Today, my fiancée told me she was having a bad day while we were lying in bed. Just as she was about to fall asleep I thought it would be sweet if I sang her a song that her Mom sang to her when she was a child. Instead, I was told to shut the fuck up and that I sucked. FML
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Top comments
Wandering_fml 0
Dude, some advice; if you EVER compare your girlfriend to an animal, make sure it isn't a huge animal that could be considered an indirect way of calling her fat. And even then, you're taking a big risk. When she's depressed, don't say much. Let her talk. She'll talk herself through it, all she needs is someone to listen to her and hold her. Someone who cares.
Jared1James 4
Maybe it would be a better idea to just snuggle with her and no stupid comments. If my girlfriend was depressed, I'd kiss her neck and tell her I love her and make her smile and laugh. :) But nice try. :P
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Comments (218)
Postlude 1
Well, I don't know if I would have cried over it, but I think I would have been stunned speechless if someone told me I had "strong legs like a horse". Really man, there's quite a plethora of generic compliments to choose from. Just go with "Your hair smells so nice." next time. And don't compare her to barn animals.
Eresbel 0
kitkat, that would be sexism.
rachelxx42 0
You couldn't find anything better to say ? Nothing about her hair, clothes, etc. ? Horse legs was all you could think of .. nice job.
Peroxide 3
you idiot! you should have said her legs were strong like ox, not puny horse! what a ******* insult
SimpleSimon 0
My comment has disappeared without trace!
kitkatkelly 0
I'd call it more of a gross generalization myself :P My boyfriend is very graceful (rock climber) and I tell him so, but I don't tell him he's like a lovely gazelle >_>
stringking21 0
YDI 4 being a DA
percawesome 0
Such typographical skill. I'm just going to assume you are bound and gagged in front of your computer and are forced to peck away at the keys with your nose. It's just less painful that way.
Alreadybehind 0
FYL because of course she would take your compliment on the worst way possible.
spillproof 0
nice, next time just call her fat
spoo 24
or a dog.... FYL, i dont get why everybody is putting her on such a pedistool personally
I_ate_google 0
Ugh. Wow, that's actually kind of stupid. Why do girls have to be that way? Isn't it enough that you mean well and you're trying to be nice to her? "Oh no, it has to be the perfect compliment" Lol, I guess I am being a little insensitive myself. After all, she was depressed… I honestly would have loved that sort of compliment, but it seems like you have a GF who doesn't see that sort of stuff as 'good'. Girls are touchier than guys, so if next time you feel like complimenting her, try something less original to start. The standard stuff like complimenting facial features or hair (hair is a good one) with words like "pretty" "stunning" and other crap like that works on the general populace of girls, and it's best if you have a delicate girlfriend to stick to the basics and then see what you can get away with after a while of that. But not when she's upset; when she's upset, use the generic stuff.