Today, I was sitting on the toilet with a really bad and noisy stomach upset. Then I hear a knock on the bathroom door. My boyfriend had decided to make a surprise visit. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML
Today, my boyfriend made me breakfast because I had a cold. Because my nose was so stuffed, I couldn't tell that our milk had gone bad. I had two cups. And now I'm stuck on the toilet. FML
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Top comments
alwa7sh 2
Ok ladies we have to put an end to this, we know you use the bathroom for things other than showering. We have known it our whole lives. So if your boyfriend, husband, ex-hasband, father in-law's second brother or any male walked in on you it is ok just finish what you started. So please no more FMLs about getting caught using the bathroom.
DocBastard 40
None taken. I have my iPhone on me constantly, so I like to check in while waiting for elevators, between patients, etc. It makes the time go by faster, and I get to vent some frustration at the same time. Either that or I'm faking this whole doctor thing, and I'm actually a 24 year old dude living in my parents' basement with nothing better to do.
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Comments (67)
TryptamineDreame 0
It would be a real fml if you shit on him during anal. I don't see how this is that bad...
tommurry 1
I love a girl that can rip a greasy sounding gasser
mike3775 39
big deal. So you trying to say that you were embarrassed that the boyfriend now knows that your crap doesn't smell like roses? Man if this is an FML moment, I have lived a life full of FML's
ogimaakwe 0
shit me and my boyfriend ain't afraid to say we got to shit or anything, we all know veryone does it and we are both goofballs and it's fun to be comfortable around somebody, you don't gotta show him your turd or nothin!
bigbadtim 7
Today I went to the bathroom, and my boyfriend found out. FML Oh, my God, somebody found out that I use the toilet. My life is over. I am going to have to dump my boyfriend, because he found out my deep dark secret. I have to move to another town, and assume a new idenity. I can only hope that where I go they don't find out about this, evil that I have to contend with. My life is over, why, why, why did you come over when you did? You should of called first. Thanks for destroying my life!
nerdsgetmehot 23
Hopefully your boyfriend will understand that girls poop. Heck, everybody poops. Those gorgeous celebrities that everyone gossips about? They poop, too. Even Megan Fox poops. I understand that it's totally awkward if he hears you "doing your business", though-- especially if it's a new relationship.
alipod 11
lol yea. charlize theron poops too. as ashley judd still poops to date.
lericho 0
Megan fox doesn't poop.
xNephilim 19
I agree with lericho. MEGAN FOX DOES NOT POOP. LALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU LALALALALA
Ugi 27
Did you know that the Queen (here in the UK - as in QEII) cannot be heard pooping? Whenever she goes anywhere, she has to have her own toilet and they test it by seeing if the nearest person can hear a banana being dropped into the toilet! If they can then they have to move the nearest public access further away. I shit you not.
Nemesis2747 4
why the hell is this an fml? Guys don't care unless you fail at being hygienic.
eduardosuritalov 0
awwe i hope ur bf at least understands..
Doortje 30
I doubt it.. For most people it's a really touchy subject, especially in a relationship. The boyfriend might just have broken up with her on the spot.
ilovemyboys 0
might as well end the relationship now... if you expect him to think you don't have bal movements your retarded... gotta open up to each other sooner or lager.
spade1997 0
sittin on da toliet