Today, I was sitting on the toilet with a really bad and noisy stomach upset. Then I hear a knock on the bathroom door. My boyfriend had decided to make a surprise visit. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML
Today, my boyfriend made me breakfast because I had a cold. Because my nose was so stuffed, I couldn't tell that our milk had gone bad. I had two cups. And now I'm stuck on the toilet. FML
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Top comments
alwa7sh 2
Ok ladies we have to put an end to this, we know you use the bathroom for things other than showering. We have known it our whole lives. So if your boyfriend, husband, ex-hasband, father in-law's second brother or any male walked in on you it is ok just finish what you started. So please no more FMLs about getting caught using the bathroom.
DocBastard 40
None taken. I have my iPhone on me constantly, so I like to check in while waiting for elevators, between patients, etc. It makes the time go by faster, and I get to vent some frustration at the same time. Either that or I'm faking this whole doctor thing, and I'm actually a 24 year old dude living in my parents' basement with nothing better to do.
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Comments (67)
xxochristineox 3
girls do it too...you might want to tell your beau that, op
emjay09 0
he's a guy. he won't care. most guys love taking a shit and don't care who knows it. no worries girl.
sicwitit 0
dude like hes never gonna hear you fart
XxdarkangelxX13 0
just tell him to wait for you in the living room and put the volume on the tv really loud:)
Friaza 29
I saw something exactly like this on youtube :D
LilyZombie 8
Congratulations, you have written the only FML about taking a shit without using the words "explosive diarrhea", "apparently", or "to my horror". You made reading this FML not feel like a monotonous variation of every other shit-related anecdote. hopefully your boyfriend doesn't find your all natural human act as a reason to look at you as a stinky nasty icky bitch with anal seepage. :D
Turkey_Slab 0
Walk of shame.......
Ugi 27
If he can knock on the bathroom then he has a key. If he has a key then you have been together a while (I f'ing hope). If you have been together a while then he's not likely to care if you have to take a shit. You are not a fairytale princess. Deal with it. Disney has a lot to answer for.
sammyjo06 14
That's kind of rude of your boyfriend. If I'd suddenly dropped in on my boyfriend and he was in the bathroom like that, I would just go turn on the TV or something and wait till he came out.
katrinakae1 5
Sounds like a shitty situation;)