Today, I was sitting on the toilet with a really bad and noisy stomach upset. Then I hear a knock on the bathroom door. My boyfriend had decided to make a surprise visit. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML
Today, my boyfriend made me breakfast because I had a cold. Because my nose was so stuffed, I couldn't tell that our milk had gone bad. I had two cups. And now I'm stuck on the toilet. FML
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Top comments
alwa7sh 2
Ok ladies we have to put an end to this, we know you use the bathroom for things other than showering. We have known it our whole lives. So if your boyfriend, husband, ex-hasband, father in-law's second brother or any male walked in on you it is ok just finish what you started. So please no more FMLs about getting caught using the bathroom.
DocBastard 40
None taken. I have my iPhone on me constantly, so I like to check in while waiting for elevators, between patients, etc. It makes the time go by faster, and I get to vent some frustration at the same time. Either that or I'm faking this whole doctor thing, and I'm actually a 24 year old dude living in my parents' basement with nothing better to do.
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Comments (67)
mccaincracker 6
try locking the door.
ulicksam 0
It's called life. People shit. Is this the biggest thing you have to complain about?
bodnarfresh 0
Ha, maybe...
DocBastard 40
And then what? He broke up with you over borborygmi? If he didn't, I don't see the problem. If he did, any guy who would do that isn't worth crying over and you're better off.
nokel11 7
no disrespect, but for a doctor you have quite a lot of time to spend on FML.
DocBastard 40
None taken. I have my iPhone on me constantly, so I like to check in while waiting for elevators, between patients, etc. It makes the time go by faster, and I get to vent some frustration at the same time. Either that or I'm faking this whole doctor thing, and I'm actually a 24 year old dude living in my parents' basement with nothing better to do.
solidus106 0
heh ^^^ :)
ArmedcrackerR6 8
well ain't that a bitch
underpaid011 0
it's ok. I'm sure he knows that you take dumps, and that sometimes you get the green apple splatters. everyone does. it's a sign you are alive. if you never crap, it's because you are dead.
underguarded 20
Time for a change.
RedPillSucks 33
So.... This will make "surprise butt sex" a real surprise for him.
mea_iloveskiing 26
Knock knock :)
Privations_fml 3
Who's there?
lericho 0
who's there?
mea_iloveskiing 26
OP's boyfriend :)
jayalexander 7
haha dnt wory cuz unless hes a ******** he wont care
RedPillSucks 33
Wakeup in the morning feeling really shitty, My boyfriends at the door, he's ready to hit that biddy. I drop my skirt, sit on the potty, I think I'm gonna yak. He hears me fart, the door slams. He ain't coming back.