Miscellaneous: Today, I was showing my step-dad old photos of the family. We...

By Anonymous - 09/01/2016 04:01 - Argentina - Lanus

Today, I was showing my step-dad old photos of the family. We got to a picture of me and I mentioned how much weight I've lost. He muttered, "Heh, fat AND blind". FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 338

You deserved it 1 994

Miscellaneous

Mama's boy

People don't always get sarcasm

Workout

By Yocherrypicker - 29/07/2016 01:04

Today, I got my report card. My teacher gave me an F, and under class comments she gave me a U for unsatisfactory. So I got an F U from my teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 150

You deserved it 5 930

By Morgannaken - 31/10/2009 17:45 - United States

Today, mum woke me up before seven in the morning on a Saturday so I could open my birthday gifts. I'm an insomniac and I had just fallen asleep. I wasn't even awake yet and she yelled at me to be more enthusiastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 568

You deserved it 4 006

By Alone - 21/05/2014 11:05 - United States - Washington

Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 282

You deserved it 12 857

Everyday is like Sunday

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got turned down from a job I really wanted. Six hours later, the guy called me again and delivered the same news, not realizing he had already called this morning. Thanks for rubbing it in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 053

You deserved it 2 771

By IHopeYourDogsGetDiarrheaAndPoopOnYourBed - 20/12/2011 11:49 - Mauritius

Today, I heard someone calling my name. It was my neighbor. Turns out they named their dogs after my mother, my sister and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 751

You deserved it 3 516

By Anonymous - 16/05/2015 17:46 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, a couple asked me to donate my eggs so they could start a family. When I refused, I was called heartless by my ex-husband and the woman he cheated on me with for over two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 842

You deserved it 2 385

By bloody - 15/06/2013 08:57 - United States

Today, my fiancé threatened to leave me for "bleeding too damn much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 064

You deserved it 5 060

By Anon - 01/05/2009 14:17 - United States

Today, I had woken up very excited to celebrate my 21st birthday. I roll over in bed and ask my boyfriend if we can go out to the park to have a picnic, considering the lovely weather. He looked up at me and said, "You wish I loved you that much." He rolled back over and slept until 3 p.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 536

You deserved it 9 295

The Three Bears Conundrum

By Madison43097 - 24/09/2009 20:57 - United States

Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 651

You deserved it 2 519

By Clumsy - 18/04/2019 18:00

Today, for the second time in a row, I slammed into the edge of the doorway while half asleep. My entire body hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 534

You deserved it 346

By BirthdayGirl - 02/03/2010 08:14 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided that lunch with his guys was more important than spending time with me. This is the second year in a row that he has cancelled on me. How do I remember the date so well? It's my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 219

You deserved it 5 441

By obviously not the favorite - 05/07/2017 18:37

Today, my mom called me a "useless spoiled brat" because I refused to drive my sister across the city just to buy flavored gelatin. I've had Amoebic Dysentery for 3 days now and need constant bathroom access. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 552

You deserved it 321

By nothungry - 29/07/2009 00:47 - United States

Today, after four years of anorexia and lots of recovery, my parents took me out to dinner with my counselor and whole family to celebrate my progress. I ended up eating something that made me vomit everything I ate. My parents now think I am bulmic and are sending me back to counseling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 262

You deserved it 5 133

By Meagan smith - 24/08/2011 20:33 - United States

Today, I started my new job as a teacher. Worried about how I looked, I asked a coworker if I looked okay. She said, "You look fine. Just like a normal high school kid." I spent the next half hour convincing her that I was not a student, but a teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 184

You deserved it 3 644

By twinkletoes - 17/09/2012 06:32 - United States

Today, I went to get my nails done for the first time in a while. I don't like to go that much because two of my toes are connected, and I'm very self-conscious about it. The man painting my toes started laughing when he saw them and called all the other employees over to look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 026

You deserved it 2 559

By Anonymous - 11/11/2015 12:18

Today, I woke up at 7, got to college by 7:40 to receive an email that my 8:00 a.m. class got cancelled. I stayed there until 12:00 p.m. for my second class, to then find out that the cancelled class was the one at 12:00, not 8:00. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 681

You deserved it 5 853

By nicegirl08 - 20/01/2009 22:47 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came to visit me for my birthday. Over dinner he handed me a blank card that had the words "I love you" hastily written on it. When the waiter came to take our order he informed him that we'd be paying separately. Happy Birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 625

You deserved it 2 626

First dates

By Tytonic - 20/01/2020 05:00 - United States - Havertown

Today, after my first dinner with my new girlfriend, I was using a toothpick when I fell, stabbing the roof of my mouth. She then laughed at me, as there was so much blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 800

You deserved it 386

By Anonymous - 31/05/2009 14:55 - United States

Today, I washed my face and grabbed the towel to dry it, I felt something moving down my forehead, thinking it was a drop of water. Upon looking in the mirror, I found it hadn't been a drop of water. Unless the water drop had legs and was gooey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 448

You deserved it 3 948

By whoops - 02/09/2016 14:49 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I accidentally sent my boss an explicit text message. She replied saying, "Very detailed, if only you put that much effort into your work". FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 537

You deserved it 6 058

By Jan - 18/10/2013 06:13 - United States

Today, my mother topped someone's story of their child's problems by saying I'm on drugs. This resulted in people showing up to stage an intervention for me. She made the whole thing up and I've never used drugs, but no one believes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 542

You deserved it 2 972

By swmmr - 07/08/2011 19:41 - United States

Today, my dad suggested that as an alternative to buying me new school clothes that actually fit, I should just join the swim team, lose some weight, and wear my stuff from last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 389

You deserved it 14 061

Rookie mistake

By Anonymous - 11/09/2021 19:00 - United States - Steele

Today, after almost a week of my cursor randomly freezing, I'd had enough and was about ready to go out and get a new computer mouse. It wasn't until just now that I realized nothing was wrong with my mouse. It was running on fumes because I forgot to replace the battery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 919

By Anonymous - 09/03/2010 08:57 - United States

Today, my roommate confronted me about my eating disorder. She described in length how emaciated my chest has become and how she wants to help. Except I don't have an eating disorder. My sternum is deformed and I have only recently become confident enough to wear low-cut tops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 532

You deserved it 2 622

By Trumpet - 28/06/2019 02:49

Today, my mom called me again to whine about what she heard about Trump on the news. I don't like him either and often agree with her, but she does this every 20 minutes so she can update with me. She's done this since he took office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 729

You deserved it 414

By 23yearoldtoddler - 18/05/2012 14:13 - United States

Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 510

You deserved it 6 570

By Sam - 15/07/2013 05:14 - United States - Elmhurst

Today, I had to turn down an invitation to one of my best friend's birthday party because I had been scheduled to work. Little did I know that my job on that day would be setting up the tents, tables, and chairs for that very birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 811

You deserved it 4 442

By georgiahick - 30/12/2010 14:09

Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 675

You deserved it 6 080

By Anonymous - 10/06/2013 05:26 - United States - Saint Maries

Today, my mother and grandmother informed me that my sixteen-year-old dog died. I was standing in Wal-Mart at the time. They then yelled at me because crying in public is "inappropriate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 593

You deserved it 4 133

By Anonymous - 05/02/2013 22:59 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I found out my boyfriend sleeps on a Princess Leia pillow. He's 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 698

You deserved it 9 108

By scfead - 14/08/2009 22:28 - United States

Today, I was walking home when a man passed me and stopped. Thinking he was staring at my butt, I asked him kindly to stop. He then laughed and grabbed my wallet that was in my back pocket, and ran. He wasn't staring at my butt, and found it funny that I thought he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 315

You deserved it 16 075

By Stop being healthy - 22/04/2017 22:00

Today, and every other day this week, I brought carrots and celery into work to eat as a snack instead of chocolate. I got back from lunch to find a note on my desk saying, "Do you really think it's OK to eat carrots and celery that loudly every day?" Guess I won't try to be healthy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 371

You deserved it 791

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 12:25 - United States

Today, I finally found out where my great grandmother's antique handheld mirror disappeared to. According to the headmaster, my eleven year old son has been using it to look up his classmates' dresses at school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 750

You deserved it 3 311

By gutted - 07/05/2012 02:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 871

You deserved it 2 853

By teinage - 02/05/2011 18:47 - Belgium

Today, some kids stole all four wheels off my car. They were nice enough to leave a note and some money though, "for the bus". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 713

You deserved it 3 095

Sweet dude

By no booze blues - 21/10/2020 08:01 - United States

Today, I was cleaning out some cabinets and stumbled upon a bottle of vodka. Being a recovering alcoholic, I immediately flushed it down the toilet. When my boyfriend got home, instead of being proud of my victory, he bitched me out for wasting the good shit. That’s for the support babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 354

You deserved it 262

By ducklover1 - 19/06/2012 03:31 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I got to see a waterfall up close. Too bad it was in my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 611

You deserved it 2 146

Corkscrew

By Anonymous - 05/05/2021 15:01 - United States - Carson City

Today, I used a menstrual cup for the first time. I couldn't get it out, after what seemed like ages of trying. I had to ask my boyfriend to help me. He'll never look at me the same way again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 166

By kaitlyna15 - 01/08/2012 01:54 - United States - Bellevue

Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 911

You deserved it 1 788

By bananna - 29/05/2014 15:18 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I found out our newborn snores worse than his father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 071

You deserved it 6 089

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Top comments

omgcyndaquil 23

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Sunday 10 January 2016 0:30

Well, he's rude AND mean.

evanmurphy 14

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Sunday 10 January 2016 0:32

That is very disrespectful of him. You should tell someone you trust how you feel and get it sorted out. Good luck OP.

FloorX 14

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Sunday 10 January 2016 0:30

omgcyndaquil 23

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Sunday 10 January 2016 0:30

Well, he's rude AND mean.

firefighter925 18

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Sunday 10 January 2016 0:42

And hilarious hahaha

ellisp1 15

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Sunday 10 January 2016 0:30

That's terrible. Sorry OP

evanmurphy 14

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Sunday 10 January 2016 0:32

That is very disrespectful of him. You should tell someone you trust how you feel and get it sorted out. Good luck OP.

moodyreallyrocks 27

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Sunday 10 January 2016 0:33

Completely uncalled for. You should be very proud OP..

jazzybaby179 22

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Sunday 10 January 2016 0:33

Good job Op! Just say 'oops sorry dad that was a picture of you'

awesomeamandas 37

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Sunday 10 January 2016 6:24

OP is a girl. So that wouldn't work.

jazzybaby179 22

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Sunday 10 January 2016 10:04

Aw man didnt see that there!

Radgears47 23

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Sunday 10 January 2016 12:32

"Oops! Sorry dad that was you before the operation." Or "Its miraculous how far you've come dad!"

jazzybaby179 22

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Sunday 10 January 2016 14:32

Thank you! You understand me :p

GuyOnBridge 14

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Saturday 16 January 2016 16:40

this is OPs step-dad

celebi82 18

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Sunday 10 January 2016 0:35

Wow, he's rude. I wonder if your mom knows how mean he is to you...

nominaski 25

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Sunday 10 January 2016 0:37

Damn. He's a mean old bastard. Sorry you have to put up with this fucking douchebag.

LadyKayDee 23

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Sunday 10 January 2016 0:39

Sometimes people think they're being clever and funny when they're just being really inconsiderate and rude. You should let him know that wasn't right of him to say that.