189
By Anonymous - / Sunday 24 October 2010 13:06 / United Kingdom
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  StitchedBear  |  13

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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  machiko_fml  |  13

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  machiko_fml  |  13

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  StitchedBear  |  13

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  machiko_fml  |  13

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  ImaginaryFoe  |  6

It was a pointless remark but still, it wasn't your fault. The woman probably knew that comments of that nature were inevitable. If you responded with some variation of "I'm sorry for your loss", there's really no reason for you to beat youself up further over this.

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  cat444des  |  6

138 you obvioulsy have no idea how it feels to be pregnant. The fact that the foetus wasn't conscious has nothing to do with the fact that she lost a baby. Let's say she planned to get pregnant and was dreaming to be abe to hold her child. Started to think of a name for him, thinking of how her baby would look like or what kind of character it would have. It's actually a hard mourning since she never actually had a life with her baby. A life she was expecting with joy. A life she made with love. I can only imagine. If she thinks of her baby all of her life, she's just normal loving mother that probably deserved it so much!

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  Tweety122888  |  6

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  MnBran6  |  34

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  wasted0087  |  34

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  makennaj  |  34

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  JFox  |  47

If it was a miscarriage, maybe she didn't see a need to name it. Some people feel like it's important to name it; some people could be equally heartbroken, but don't see naming it to be an important step in grieving.

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  ImaginaryFoe  |  47

I believe Fox is correct, Doc. Where I live, if the baby took one breath you are required to have a birth certificate with a name. In circumstances such as stillbirth and miscarriage, it is not required and many parents do not name the baby. That said, the stocking thing is honestly strange to me. What a cruel reminder of what will never be.

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  Fortuitous  |  47

ImaginaryFoe, perhaps the baby would have been born around the holidays, and the family wants to honor the thought of what would have been. I'm just speculating, but that's a nice gesture.

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  skittle68  |  47

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  green_eyes124  |  47

Maybe they didn't know the sex of the baby. If I remember correctly, most (yes, I know not all of them do) miscarriages happen in the first trimester and the sex of the baby is not determined until the second trimester. Poor parents though. Miscarriages are super tough. : (

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  JFox  |  47

I thought so, too.. I thought I was making an assumption when I commented, which is why I said "if." O_o Huh. I must have just skimmed it.

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  DocBastard  |  47

Foe- it did say "baby I lost." It must have been edited. Still, I find this a bizarre thing to do. My wife is pregnant now, and if we lost him/her, I certainly wouldn't memorialize the event.

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  ImaginaryFoe  |  47

Congratulations! Your second, I presume? I've miscarried and I couldn't imagine doing this either. It honestly doesn't seem like a healthy way of dealing with the grief and moving on. But I realise everyone has his/her own way of mourning.

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  kaity111  |  47

doc, i think the cute pic of your daughter (that is your daughter, right?) was the giveaway that this is your second child :P she is very lovely and congrats on your second baby!

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  cat444des  |  47

or maybe the foetus was old enough to see what gender it was but the parents decided to not know to avoid more pain. My mom miscarried once and that's what happened.

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  marcranger  |  15

in all fairness, if you don't celebrate Christmas or take part in any of the schlock surrounding the holiday, this fml could take a few minutes to register.

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