Work: Today, my company filed for bankruptcy, but the reorganize kind...

By Anonymous - 22/05/2009 18:39 - United States

Today, my company filed for bankruptcy, but the reorganize kind where it still functions. There are no funds to give out paychecks any time soon. They won't fire me. If I voluntarily quit, I cannot file for unemployment. I'm now an unpaid intern. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 885

You deserved it 2 968

Work

Own it

Worst workplace ever

Go to a doctor

By herestowaiting - 30/08/2016 20:56 - United States - Detroit

Today, I'm officially a week overdue. I went to the hospital, thinking I was in labor since I was in so much pain. Turns out it was just gas. The nurse couldn't hold back her look of pity as she told me this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 523

You deserved it 1 108

By anonymous - 02/09/2014 18:58 - United States - Wolcott

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 708

You deserved it 9 624

By Badhairday - 11/06/2015 23:14 - Canada - Whitby

Today, I arrived at the salon to get my hair done for prom. The lady at the front desk insisted I didn't have an appointment. After looking back on my recent calls, it turned out I called the wrong number and whatever asshole was on the other line played along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 694

You deserved it 4 105

By bdjsbskl - 07/10/2011 05:55 - Canada

Today, I was at work as a cashier. An old lady unbagged everything I had, and angrily "taught" me how to bag. She put potatoes on her eggs and broke them. She then screamed that I was useless and retarded in front of all my other customers and manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 538

You deserved it 2 366

By svunimportant - 28/05/2015 15:40 - United States - Morehead

Today, my daughter cried for ages after finding out that Nick Amaro was written out of Law and Order: SVU. She barely reacted when I told her that her mom and I are getting a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 214

You deserved it 3 486

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 00:32 - United States

Today, I had to make up a story about my "friends" at school so my mom doesn't keep telling I'm a loser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 584

You deserved it 6 797

By Anonymous - 01/03/2010 22:04 - United States

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 661

You deserved it 10 901

By Anonymous - 04/06/2009 14:09 - Australia

Today, I went into work and noticed one of my fellow colleagues had a large bunch of flowers on her desk. As soon as I saw her, I immediately said, "Happy Birthday!" Everyone went quiet. It wasn't her birthday; her father had died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 435

You deserved it 56 642

Two wheels not so good

By Dana O'Neil - 24/04/2021 00:30

Today, it's been 4 days of recovering from a motorcycle accident. Which happened 5 hours after it was delivered. I went face-first through a garage door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 827

By xYumix - 17/11/2009 09:23 - United States

Today, I was late for an interview. Going into the elevator, a man ran up to the doors but since I was late, I pressed the "close" button. When I arrived to the office, the secretary asked me to wait. The boss walked in to interview me. The man whose face I closed the elevator doors on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 567

You deserved it 59 483

Spy vs. Spy

By Bree - 15/08/2012 15:15 - United States

Today, my father tried to secretly follow me all day, because he doesn't believe that I have any "real" errands to run or friends to meet with. He's actually convinced that I'm living some secret double life with another family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 643

You deserved it 1 717

By stargirl - 19/07/2011 00:36 - Canada

Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 220

You deserved it 13 077

By oops1234 - 16/04/2009 14:38 - United States

Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 407

You deserved it 17 409

By FacebookStrikesAgain - 21/01/2014 23:59 - Puerto Rico - Bayamon

Today, my girlfriend told me the reason why my credit card mysteriously maxed out 2 months ago 'might have been' because she posted a picture of it on Facebook. I ordered a new credit card without the custom picture of us immediately. She broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 396

You deserved it 6 108

By LittleFriend - 30/11/2017 06:00

Today, I was told I will receive no Christmas or birthday presents for the next 3 years because my parents paid for my rhinoplasty. I needed it because my 12-year-old brother smashed my nose with a hammer in a fit of rage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 853

You deserved it 282

By ldrik1 - 11/06/2014 20:36 - United States - Syracuse

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 084

You deserved it 4 777

By bigryngf - 04/08/2009 22:12 - United States

Today, I was on my couch when my landlord walked in. He asked what I was doing there. I responded with the same question. Apparently my roommate forgot to call me and tell me that our lease ended three days ago. I am now standing in the parking lot with all my belongings, and it is raining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 235

You deserved it 6 967

By confused_cashier - 12/06/2016 01:34 - United States - Herndon

Today, while working as a cashier at a fast food restaurant, a customer asked me how many chicken nuggets were in our 6 count chicken nuggets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 230

You deserved it 1 433

By Ashley Harn - 23/08/2018 18:30

Today, I found out I'm allergic to something in the city water. I've had itchy patches and rashes all over my body, but I can't afford to pay for the filtration system that would solve it. My landlord forbids any modifications to the shower and washing machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 544

You deserved it 135

By mikuxxhatsune - 05/06/2017 02:00 - Australia - Greystanes

Today, I was the organist for a wedding. I had practiced for weeks, rehearsed with the choir many times and spent hours stressing. During the wedding march, the electric organ malfunctioned, adding on layers of random notes I didn't play. Guess who got yelled at afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 477

You deserved it 258

Dad prank #9866

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Sweden

Today, I had to basically ground my own husband, after he tricked our 6-year-old son into getting his tongue stuck to a frozen pole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 025

You deserved it 4 981

Not the sharpest crayon in the box

By dumb dumb - 14/08/2020 14:00

Today, my idiot daughter used my wax warmer to try to give herself a bikini wax using old crayons. Not sure which YouTube idiot she learned it from, but the stench of melted crayon, burnt hair, and singed flesh isn’t a smell I’ll soon be forgetting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 556

You deserved it 216

By ej6901 - 23/06/2015 20:00 - United States - Ventnor City

Today, I left my dog in my car for 5 minutes while I ran into a store. The car was running so he was fine, the thing that wasn't so fine is that when I walked out my car wasn't there. My dog somehow moved my car into the middle of a intersection, almost causing an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 760

You deserved it 19 036

By Nomoretexting - 01/11/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, I received a 4 page text message from my mom explaining what she was going to do to me tonight in full detail. I am one name below her boyfriend on her contact list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 323

You deserved it 2 581

By Msmerfner - 03/08/2013 08:40 - United States - Hemet

Today, I was trying to be sexy in the bathtub for my boyfriend. I leaned back and caught my hair on fire with the candle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 403

You deserved it 16 061

By princessbbee - 18/08/2011 17:40 - United States

Today, I bought my cats two new litter boxes in hopes that they would use them. They still prefer to pee on the clothes in my closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 715

You deserved it 7 117

By Anonymous - 27/05/2010 02:30 - United States

Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 281

You deserved it 3 155

By Anonymous - 27/07/2016 20:32

Today, when the power went out, my wife said it was too bad we couldn't have sex by candlelight since she had just started her period. The only time she brings up sex is when we can't do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 413

You deserved it 1 701

By coughcough - 14/07/2013 05:35 - United States

Today, after recovering from pneumonia and a severe asthma attack caused by my dad's fiancée's cat, he chose to keep the cat. I can't go to his house without having to go to the hospital later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 051

You deserved it 4 023

By mistake - 11/05/2009 09:09 - United States

Today, I realized what my mom has been calling me for 20 years. She always calls me her "little fehler." With her being from Germany, I always thought it was a cute little nickname. Apparently, she's been calling me her "little mistake." FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 983

You deserved it 5 710

By Trey Wipperfurth-Eisner - 13/06/2019 05:15

Today, I woke up at 1:39 a.m. to my dad's phone going off, only to hear my parents having sex. It's now 2:12 a.m. and I can still hear them going at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 786

You deserved it 217

By Anonymous - 05/12/2010 18:25 - Singapore

Today, I took a nap because I've been sick for the past week and I was exhausted. When I woke up, my hair, shirt, pillow, and bedsheets were soaked. I threw up all over myself in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 677

You deserved it 3 243

By littleguy - 20/08/2009 15:55 - United States

Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 690

You deserved it 19 186

By Wendizzle - 27/01/2012 05:35 - United States

Today, I had to work late. I missed the last bus so I called a cab. That was 3 hours ago. I called my dad for a ride. That was 2 hours ago. I guess I'm sleeping under my desk tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 923

You deserved it 2 758

By Anonymous - 01/06/2018 06:00

Today, my new bikini must be cheap as shit because I tanned nicely where I put on sunscreen, but where I didn’t apply it under the bikini I’ve gotten super red sunburn on my butt, my lady bits, and my boobs. My nipples look like the ends of red felt tip pens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 512

You deserved it 793

By ToiletProblems - 06/02/2019 07:00 - United States - Northbrook

Today, I decided to use the disabled toilet in work to get a little extra privacy while I did my business. The cleaners who unlocked the door from the outside and barged in on me were nice and waited until I finished to apologize and explain there were complaints the door had been locked for days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 038

You deserved it 443

By Failure2017 - 04/11/2017 19:30 - United States

Today, my husband referred to me as his “favorite meat sock” in front of our son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 354

You deserved it 464

By bigbum - 04/11/2012 09:50 - Australia - Glenroy

Today, my boyfriend of two years proposed to me. It would have been great if he weren't drunk with a naked girl next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 029

You deserved it 2 364

By pizzachest - 19/08/2011 13:11 - Canada

Today, I discovered that I won't be able to wear the dress with a low neck line that I bought for my cousin's wedding, because my older brother thought it would be funny to mix a scented body-wash that he knows makes my skin break out in hives, with my regular one. My chest looks like a pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 291

You deserved it 2 832

By achoo-plop - 30/11/2015 01:17 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I learned that the only way for me to have a complete bowel movement is to blow my nose at the same time. However, I learned this while standing in my girlfriend's kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 526

You deserved it 1 972

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Top comments

cdj 0

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Friday 22 May 2009 23:11

Actually, that is illegal (at least in my state). By law they are required to pay you, by the conditions outlined by your employment, for the work you have done for a week by the following Friday, if they can't pay you they have to terminate you.

Rooney101 0

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Friday 22 May 2009 23:14

You best start stealing as much crap as you can then, remember all the money is in Forks, no one wants spoons nowadays.

applesoda31 0

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Friday 22 May 2009 23:02

i'm sorry to hear that. hopefully everything will work out

Zoa_fml 0

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Friday 22 May 2009 23:02

So...get a new job!

IamAbc 2

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Saturday 14 January 2012 20:00

Did you not read the FML?

Whytetrash 21

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Saturday 17 November 2012 1:58

Or just stop turning up

MooKee 0

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Friday 22 May 2009 23:02

Hahh FYL, damn that sucks =)

crvenazvezda 0

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Friday 22 May 2009 23:06

brutal....

Lou_Briccant 0

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Friday 22 May 2009 23:06

Sucks man, but welcome to the real world. My brother has a Masters in Public Administration, and his field is so horrible for employment right now, that at one point, I was making more than him working at a pizzeria than he was. So believe me, I (though in relative terms) feel your pain.

winterislame 0

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Friday 22 May 2009 23:07

Okay, well. Go find another job and then just work there. They'll have to fire you then, and plus you'll have a new job.

friscosoonerkid 3

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Sunday 9 September 2012 10:06

If he can even get a new job in this economy.

lonelypolkadott 0

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Friday 22 May 2009 23:09

Then start looking for another job and dont go back to that one. You aren't being compensated for work so there isn't a point to going back. And if you stop showing up, they might just fire so you can collect unemployment.

cdj 0

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Friday 22 May 2009 23:11

undyinghumor 0

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Friday 22 May 2009 23:12

#7, you're lame, you can't get unemployment from being fired. However, you can get unemployment if your company goes bankrupt and cannot pay you. At least in my state. You should check into that.

fertie226 1

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Wednesday 10 February 2010 6:12

I think it must depend on the state. I got fired 2 years ago and I did get to collect unemployment. I live in New Hampshire.

starberries 0

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Sunday 7 November 2010 2:10

You can get unemployment if you are fired, it just depends on why you were fired. I got fired once for going home sick, even though they had told me to go home. I had no problem getting unemployment for that.