Today, I was searched and questioned at the airport for having an apple. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Busted
Today, we had a drug search at school. After the search, we went back inside. My bag was open, and my lunch was gone. FML
On the run
Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML
Holding pattern
Today, I just landed in Washington, DC. Unfortunately, I also took off from Washington, DC an hour ago. FML
Rough
Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML
Today, I showed by ID to get into a bar and the bouncer kept it because he said it wasn't me. It was. Apparently I've gained so much weight I am unrecognizable. FML
Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML
Suspect
Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML
Early warning
Today, I overheard my boss stressing out over finding a replacement for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML
Still not calling it X
Today, I googled myself in preparation for my upcoming job interview. Turns out there's a girl on Twitter with my name and age who tweets nonstop about getting wasted and being on probation. She won't make her profile private. FML
It's sus to us
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Top comments
haileyshelton 14
Apple bomb?
RedPillSucks 31
Weapon of tasty destruction
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Comments (188)
rfn2 7
God dam TSA
nick3600 22
I bet that would happen to me lmao
BananaMan844 4
Welcome to 'Murica! Not the home of the free, but home to the NSA!
Ninjataco1234 4
My mother went to see President Obama speak and they took her apple but let somebody else bring in a banana.
Artures_way1 23
Are you certain it wasn't a b.o.m.b.e.?
littleone705 11
TF
shardynfahey 19
What the
Serpent20601 9
welcome to america