Today, I was outside, eating a sandwich, when I noticed a homeless man was standing in front of me. Upon making eye contact, he grabbed the rest of my sandwich and ran off. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I cut my nice and tasty home-made sandwich in half to give to a homeless man. He tasted it, pulled an unimpressed face, and then stuck it in his pocket. FML
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man. I gave him my sandwich, since he needed it more than me. Seconds later, he was attacked by a flock of birds. FML
Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
Today, I made a sandwich. When I went to grab chips, my wife snatched it. I made a second sandwich. My son came in and stole the plate when I was grabbing a seltzer. I went to make a third sandwich. No more cold cuts. FML
Today, as I was out walking, one homeless man sitting with two others asked me for something to eat. Trying to do a good deed, I bought the three men a bag of apples. They then fought viciously over them before the first man chased me for handing them to "the wrong one." FML
Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park. While chatting with another dog owner, my dog managed to steal their sandwich and ran off with it. I had to chase my sandwich-thieving dog through the entire park. FML
Today, I was at the pool when I saw a man eating the food I had ordered near my seat. I immediately ran up to him and asked him to stop stealing my food. I took the food away and threw it in the trash. Seconds later the attendant came out with my actual food. FML
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
keoct 4
dine n’ dash?
_blah_blah_blah_ 1
it's more like his life sucks and you should go get yourself another sandwich..imagine what it's like to be so desperate for food that you have to steal yank it from someone's hand and run...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (182)
Zabrielle 0
I don't understand how this a fml, you just helped a poor man survive in this cruel world. =')
LaFHlax 0
that might have been his only food for this whole week though... poor guy.
mrbeastmode 0
ikr D: and you have another thing to put in your discrpition
Draminicaus 0
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day...
Draminicaus 0
....steal a man's sandwich, you'll wind up on FML. lol
TheDrifter 24
He seems pretty good at it. I'm sure he'll steal another meal this week.
MrRawwr84 0
woah your really pretty ;)
machiko_fml 0
Atleast he'll live another day cuz of you.
1personinthiswor 0
Not necessarily. He could have been hit by a truck as OP was at home online whining about him. You never know.
kiwi00 0
We can only hope.
X_TANK_X 1
True that. but at least he wouldn't have gone hungry!.
ThePaperDragon 31
Aww, poor guy! Just buy yourself another, I'm sure it wouldn't be too much trouble. Think of how he must feel, knowing stealing a half-eaten sandwich is the best he can do for himself… how sad.
BigBirdLookAlike 0
I don't think it's sad enough.
wwerulez14 6
Well, yes it COULD be sad but ever stop to wonder as to how this guy ended up homeless? Maybe he's a drug addict? Maybe he gambled away all his money? Nobody knows. And while that may be sad, it really isn't an excuse for stealing. If you're in that desperate need of something to eat, you're better off asking politely. Maybe somebody would have be kind enough to help him out. Although it's called "survival of the fittest", that doesn't condone breaking the law. Just like how robbing a bank can't be justified because say, for example, you're mother has some outstanding medical bills. Damn even I'm thinking that what I just wrote was too long :D
ThePaperDragon 31
I neither condoned nor condemned the beggars actions, I merely invited readers to switch places with him. I imagine he may have been living paycheck- to- paycheck, as many do in this, arguably relinquished, recession. Placing him in this situation, he becomes a broken man at the end of his rope, desperate for food, instead of a dirty bum. If he had bad intentions, I believe a wallet, jewelry, purse, or any other valuable would have been the object of his theft, instead of a sub sandwich.
MrTvor 0
Well said :) I agree.
CitizenSnipz 0
79 your boobs are shiny.
ThePaperDragon 31
I won't bother with your lack of a comma between my number and your crude, under-thought comment more than I have to, so please, at least attempt to contribute to my comment, or any response towards it, in a matter fitting the tone set by them...
ryukensfj 5
you're hot, but why use such a picture as an avatar?
ThePaperDragon 31
I used this picture as an avatar because I dread having my picture taken for any reason, (Im very self-conscience), causing very limited choices when it came to choosing my picture, and it just so happens that this particular photo is the only one of me not dressed in a ridiculous dress or my eighth-grade graduation gown.
anorexicbarbie 8
I feel like someone attached an ass to your chest. Seriously though, that shit's gross, please cover up.
ispitflames 3
OR your just a fake ass dumb hoe trying to get attention. GTFO fmylife.com
ispitflames 3
fyi that last comment was for the girl who stole the pic off a teen **** site lol
ryukensfj 5
send me a msg next year on 10/1 ;)
Mirorbo 27
Goodness... He couldn't just ask? Then again, who am I to complain about how theft is done? ; )
cdatribe23 0
hahahaha don't eat infront of the needy lol :P
wombledn 0
eff you you greedy sob. everyone gets a good laugh, a bum gets a sandwich and you have the audacity to whine? go back and buy some drinks for him and you.
jakeisawake 3
The homeless guy took his sandwich. What's to say he won't steal his drink too?
mola_mola 3
that he's buying it for him maybe, "aha i'm going to steal this drink you just bought me!"
jakeisawake 3
Well, dumbass. I am pretty sure he said to buy two drinks. One for the homeless, and then one for himself. I'm sure I responded with the idea of taking the "OP's" drink.
mintcar 10
What kind of sub was it? If it was an Italian sub with capicola ham, genoa salami, provolone, lettuce, tomatoes, mayo, oil and vinegar then FYL. If it was some plain ol' turkey sub, then you could've done without. :)
mintcar 10
Sandwich*
Zmeilerr 22
Sammich*
mintcar 10
LOL.
DarkHelmet 10
u gotta love a woman who knows what a good sandwich is!
fullmetalshrimp 0
Just buy another sandwich. Don't be greedy. He obviously needed it more than you did. Then again, he shouldn't have stolen it, either.
mrbeastmode 0
I'm no creeper... *stalks person on web*
1personinthiswor 0
29 - I love fullmetal :D Especially Winry <3
fullmetalshrimp 0
Winry! I love her, too! <3 xD
1personinthiswor 0
<3 :D hahaha
perez758 2
ydi for teasing homeless people