By NightHawk4926 - United States - Las Vegas Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man. I gave him my sandwich, since he needed it more than me. Seconds later, he was attacked by a flock of birds. FML I agree, your life sucks 24253 You deserved it 1730 53 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, at the breakfast table my mum asked me what I thought about the plumber who came to our place a couple of weeks ago. I told her that I thought he was really cute and how hard I tried to flirt with him, she nodded and told me that he is her new boyfriend and might move in with us soon. FML I agree, your life sucks 50157 You deserved it 5947 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, while sorting through my deceased mother's hoard of belongings, I found myself holding a necklace composed entirely of teeth. Human teeth. FML I agree, your life sucks 3955 You deserved it 254 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Dumpy baby Today, on my birthday, my mother described my birth like a large, painful bowel movement in front of all my friends. FML I agree, your life sucks 1353 You deserved it 138 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Peachtree City Today, we had a surprise party for my boss. Someone turned out all the lights. I was so scared of the dark, the first thing my boss saw when he walked in was all my co-workers watching me scream, "TURN IT ON!" FML I agree, your life sucks 36794 You deserved it 16926 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Lees Summit Today, I was at the airport when I saw a woman drop her bags and run to her husband. Thinking that someone might steal them, I picked up her bags and brought them over to her. She thanked me by slapping me, calling me a bitch and calling security. FML I agree, your life sucks 43317 You deserved it 5832 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DaddysGirl - Canada Today, I took the train to visit my parents, which arrives late at night. As I was getting off, the cute guy in front of me looked out the window, then turned to me and said, "Doesn't that guy out there give you the creeps?" That guy was my dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 33303 You deserved it 2590 146 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By britt71411 - United States Today, inspired by my own relationship, I encouraged my best friend to go after the guy she likes. She did, and I'm now single. FML I agree, your life sucks 48508 You deserved it 5684 189 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MyLife Today, my best friend broke up with her partner. In retaliation, he got drunk and stole my car, then crashed it into a neighbour's house. Then after dealing with the police who didn't arrest him, he and my best friend made up and went to bed. FML I agree, your life sucks 2479 You deserved it 171 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States Today, while on a six hour flight, someone offered to pay me $20 to swap seats with them. It seemed like a great deal, so I immediately accepted and moved to my new seat. I didn't realize my new neighbor was an old man with a raging boner. FML I agree, your life sucks 32001 You deserved it 13963 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Cupcakes - Australia - Queanbeyan Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML I agree, your life sucks 27540 You deserved it 53329 134 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Fitz - United States Today, a woman drove through my house. She was texting and eating watermelon at the same time. I didn't know that was even possible, but now my house is condemned. FML I agree, your life sucks 133768 You deserved it 6186 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Zora - Norway - Bergen Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML I agree, your life sucks 41102 You deserved it 3747 423 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By petlover - United States Today, I had to put my 17 year old cat down. I cried the whole way up to the vet's office and back. After finally coming to terms with the situation, and trying to forget, my dad's friend walks up to me and says, "So, I heard you killed your cat?" FML I agree, your life sucks 36895 You deserved it 3828 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kendall14159 - United States - Jacksonville Today, I decided to pick up some breath mints. As I was checking out, the cashier informed me that if I was "planning on getting a girl to stay the night", I'd need the "stronger, more intense brand of mints". FML I agree, your life sucks 19060 You deserved it 2614 41 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/1/2021 04:58 Impressive Today, a small fly was harassing my face, then it landed on a book next to me. I waved at it to make it leave, but it didn't. I got my fingers closer to it, to scare it off. Instead, it jumped on my finger as a playful parrot pet, spent a moment there, and flew off. I cannot even intimidate a fly. FML I agree, your life sucks 588 You deserved it 169 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hotpatata - United States Today, I sneezed my jaw out of socket. Yes, this is possible. FML I agree, your life sucks 33973 You deserved it 2224 150 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By meowitzer - 22/4/2020 05:02 All over the place Today, a close, funny friend who has quite the attitude, received a long email from a long-time friend of hers, telling her how difficult she is. When I told her it doesn’t matter, that she is still wonderful, she went off on how bad a friend I am for saying that, and then deleted me off WhatsApp. FML I agree, your life sucks 1330 You deserved it 176 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Boo - United Kingdom Today, my new neighbor informed me with great relish that the house I have just bought is haunted because 30 years ago a man shot himself in the kitchen. I'm now paying a huge mortgage on a house I'm frightened to be alone in. FML I agree, your life sucks 26642 You deserved it 9034 211 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Fattymuch - India Today, I was online looking up ways to lose weight, get thinner and be healthier, all the while eating a slab of brownie that was half the size of my head. FML I agree, your life sucks 8926 You deserved it 51857 162 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Rednbumpy Today, I was getting ready to meet my boyfriend. We haven't seen each other in a month so I decided to shave my body hair, even though I have really sensitive skin and usually end up getting rashes after a few days. His flight got cancelled and he won't be back for another two days. FML I agree, your life sucks 5050 You deserved it 559 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Stinkbomber - United States - Woonsocket Today, at work, our grease traps were getting cleaned out. My desk is right next to the vent for outside air, and veryone thought I crapped myself and wouldn't go near me. FML I agree, your life sucks 5805 You deserved it 453 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ellencrazee - United Kingdom Today, I came home from holiday, only to find my house full of small decomposing animals, courtesy of my cat. FML I agree, your life sucks 28667 You deserved it 5245 140 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Langdon - United States Today, I went to the midnight premiere of Angels and Demons. A hobo wandered into the theater and sat down behind me. I paid $10 to spend two and a half hours listening to a crazy man talk to himself and kick my chair while he loudly masturbated. FML I agree, your life sucks 58597 You deserved it 9567 255 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By glens - United States Today, my company announced a new name. They also announced new coffee mugs with the name on them. They've not announced raises in over 3 years. FML I agree, your life sucks 23396 You deserved it 2310 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML I agree, your life sucks 11823 You deserved it 37671 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By xswitch74 - United Kingdom Today, my ex called me up to suggest that we become friends, only so that she could introduce me to her new boyfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 32456 You deserved it 4198 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - London Today, for the first time in my life, my dad said he was proud of me. It meant a lot to me, and I started tearing up. Noticing my emotion, he looked at me pityingly, said "Aaaaand it's gone." and walked out of the room. FML I agree, your life sucks 45394 You deserved it 6790 40 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bzygirl - United States Today, was my first day at my new job in a shop. 10 minutes after my first customer leaves I realize she managed to steal $200 worth of merchandise while she had me getting stuff for her from the back room. FML I agree, your life sucks 36855 You deserved it 7793 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Chestnut Hill Today, I learned that the blisters that popped up this morning on my hands and feet are a result of a virus that takes two weeks to fully heal. After I told my roommates to be careful, one of them decided that NOW was a good time to tell us she had it last week. FML I agree, your life sucks 33996 You deserved it 2234 49 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Allison Arsenault - 7/6/2020 08:08 Cheap-ass perv! Today, I found out my boyfriend of 5 years thinks that it is too expensive to get married, go on vacations, concerts, etc., but spends $100+/month on Hentai. FML I agree, your life sucks 1768 You deserved it 424 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Today, I found out I'm going to have to come into the office on yet another weekend to plow snow. This wouldn't be so bad, if I actually got paid to work weekends. FML I agree, your life sucks 1834 You deserved it 220 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I'm in my mid-twenties and just learned that I still start crying in confusing situations. I found this out by getting the wrong train in a foreign country, and then having the conductor come and tell me my ticket was only valid for the other direction. FML I agree, your life sucks 1654 You deserved it 243 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By suzyyy - Netherlands Today, I had to sell my phone to pay for the phone bill. FML I agree, your life sucks 22979 You deserved it 28227 95 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sleepy125 - United States Today, the first guy I've ever loved is going to a fancy rush party with my best friend. He did tell me he needed space to think about us this whole weekend. I guess I know what he's been thinking. FML I agree, your life sucks 22160 You deserved it 2019 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lumacsp - United States Today, I stopped at the light when someone crashed on to my motorcycle making me fall. The guy claimed it was my fault because I stopped too fast. I got really mad, so I attempted to spit on his face and was ready to start a fight when I noticed that I forgot to lift the helmet shield. FML I agree, your life sucks 11256 You deserved it 52256 120 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Stalked - Czech Republic - Brno Today, I found a love letter in my mail. It was from a girl I met at a bar few weeks ago. I never gave her my address or last name. I guess I have a stalker now. FML I agree, your life sucks 15023 You deserved it 1559 45 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Karate Kid - Australia - Surry Hills Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML I agree, your life sucks 6942 You deserved it 35186 133 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hmb - United States Today, my dog used my stomach as a trampoline to jump onto the couch. I wouldn't have minded so much if I wasn't still recovering from having my appendix removed. FML I agree, your life sucks 35979 You deserved it 2893 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By neelloc83 - United States Today, I was meeting friends for dinner at an Indian restaurant. I was waiting for the group to arrive and our table to be ready. An Indian man approached me smiling, so I said "We're not ready for our table yet". Then I realized it was my friend's boyfriend who I've met several times. FML I agree, your life sucks 11049 You deserved it 67920 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By f.a.t. - Australia Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML I agree, your life sucks 56491 You deserved it 7754 161 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Hammer1722 | 19 #6406671 - Thursday 10 September 2015 9:22 That's horrible! Good on you for being a good person OP Send a private message 122 2 Reply
By nzhx | 23 #6406673 - Thursday 10 September 2015 9:22 It's the thought that counts, OP. It's a shame your act of kindness took a wrong turn. Send a private message 91 3 Reply
By fifi125 | 21 #6406669 - Thursday 10 September 2015 9:19 I'm pretty sure the karmic brownie points still count, so FHL but you're all good Send a private message 28 14 Reply
By Hammer1722 | 19 #6406671 - Thursday 10 September 2015 9:22 That's horrible! Good on you for being a good person OP Send a private message 122 2 Reply
By Silk_Routes | 14 #6406672 - Thursday 10 September 2015 9:22 food belongs to the one who deserved...u r awesome op Send a private message 3 12 Reply
By nzhx | 23 #6406673 - Thursday 10 September 2015 9:22 It's the thought that counts, OP. It's a shame your act of kindness took a wrong turn. Send a private message 91 3 Reply
By UhHuhHoney | 20 #6406674 - Thursday 10 September 2015 9:22 Rats with wings I tell ya, rats with wings. Send a private message 25 5 Reply
By peacheso | 31 #6406675 - Thursday 10 September 2015 9:23 The birds probably needed it more. Jk. Trust me, it's the thought that counts. Don't stop giving. Send a private message 12 1 Reply
By trulypar | 34 #6406676 - Thursday 10 September 2015 9:23 Hopefully the man didn't get hurt. Poor guy. Send a private message 8 3 Reply
By ironik69 | 31 #6406678 - Thursday 10 September 2015 9:24 "I said a dollar b*t*h!" Send a private message 6 15 Reply
By hkhan24 | 23 #6406679 - Thursday 10 September 2015 9:27 I'd say it's more fuck the homeless guy's life. He was really hungry and when he does get food, he gets robbed of it. Send a private message 11 1 Reply
Reply derangedplanet | 23 #6406818 - Thursday 10 September 2015 14:10 Right. he's been waiting for this moment for days...and then...Fucking birds. poor man needs a house to protect him from birds. Send a private message 0 7 Reply
By HappyItalian | 38 #6406682 - Thursday 10 September 2015 9:35 I would've at least tried to stop the birds from attacking him instead of just watching it happen. Send a private message 2 17 Reply
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML I agree, your life sucks 212 You deserved it 97 3 Comments
Today, I woke up with a sore clitoris. I haven't had sex with my boyfriend for weeks, but I did masturbate yesterday. I guess I can't get horny without... I agree, your life sucks 373 You deserved it 79 4 Comments