Today, I was outside, eating a sandwich, when I noticed a homeless man was standing in front of me. Upon making eye contact, he grabbed the rest of my sandwich and ran off. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I cut my nice and tasty home-made sandwich in half to give to a homeless man. He tasted it, pulled an unimpressed face, and then stuck it in his pocket. FML
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man. I gave him my sandwich, since he needed it more than me. Seconds later, he was attacked by a flock of birds. FML
Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
Today, I made a sandwich. When I went to grab chips, my wife snatched it. I made a second sandwich. My son came in and stole the plate when I was grabbing a seltzer. I went to make a third sandwich. No more cold cuts. FML
Today, as I was out walking, one homeless man sitting with two others asked me for something to eat. Trying to do a good deed, I bought the three men a bag of apples. They then fought viciously over them before the first man chased me for handing them to "the wrong one." FML
Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park. While chatting with another dog owner, my dog managed to steal their sandwich and ran off with it. I had to chase my sandwich-thieving dog through the entire park. FML
Today, I was at the pool when I saw a man eating the food I had ordered near my seat. I immediately ran up to him and asked him to stop stealing my food. I took the food away and threw it in the trash. Seconds later the attendant came out with my actual food. FML
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML
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Top comments
keoct 4
dine n’ dash?
_blah_blah_blah_ 1
it's more like his life sucks and you should go get yourself another sandwich..imagine what it's like to be so desperate for food that you have to steal yank it from someone's hand and run...
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Comments (182)
iSpasticFantasti 14
That's what you get for watching him take a dump earlier, he's sick of your crap, and anyway... Anyway... YOU AIN'T GOT NO PANCAKE MIX!
Sarahfae 0
Ydi because you should have just given it to him.
ciindly 0
this has happened before hilarious evrytime.
screelov 0
this is ******* hilarious.
LOLSWAT 0
what a dick!
Luckysam1984 0
Thats funny. At least the homeless person didnt rape or rob you that would have been worse. You lost a meal to a hungry person big deal.
MrVictor_fml 0
when you were outside you noticed a homeless man in front of you? nice sense of knowing what's around you.
ALERI0N 0
I bet he enjoyed that sandwich.
stalkergirl94 0
He must be real hungry. I guess he enjoyed your sandwich. Haha!
Drclino 0
FYL! and screw that lazy homeless pile! most of them choose that life, a beer is more important then a safe place to sleep/eat
mola_mola 3
i would like to know where you get your evidence from for that statement