Today, I was on a first date at a bar, when a girl walks over and ask me if I'm a doctor. I said yes, thinking she overheard me talking about my PhD. The girl then showed me a lump on her breast and asked what to do about it. My date then slapped me and left. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Same thing different taste
Today, I asked my doctor out on a date. He had his nurse turn me down. FML
Tonight, on First Dates…
Today, I was on a first date. She asked what I do, so I replied, "I create adverts." She then yelled, "F**k you" and left. FML
Today, while at the gym, I started flirting with a hot doctor. I thought things were going well so I suggested we work out together sometime and maybe work our way up to dinner together, to which she replied, "Sorry but I've seen tumors bigger than your biceps," and then walked out. FML
Wait, what?
Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML
Negging
Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML
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Been there, done that
Today, my blind date turned out to be my gynecologist. FML
Paranoid
Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
Top comments
Mynamewontfi 40
Why would your date blame you, though? Unless you lifted up her shirt, it wasn't your fault.
cocacola999 27
At least you dodged a bullet with your first date. Slapping was incredibly illogical.
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Comments (40)
lusanna 19
Awe you sound like a sweet guy, there are a lot of crazies out there, better luck next time
JadynHunter 19
It's not a matter of crazy more a matter of possible jealousy by the opposite sex
DoomedGemini 38
I think it's pretty crazy to slap someone and leave because another person showed them their breast..
Wishe 17
Honestly, I find this hard to believe.
cocacola999 27
If you picture that girl really drunk, it doesn't sound so unbelievable.
TMO2142 25
FML staff, please edit this so the "and" after "slapped" is gone
TheNewGuy03 29
She seems like an overly jealous type, which is always bad, but I'm gonna ask: Why do your first date at a bar? I know, to each their own, but it's pretty hard to focus on the person you're with when there's so much going on.
nonsensical 26
Actually, depending on the type of bar it could be the ideal place. You grab a drink and just talk to each other for as long as you want. It's a casual setting for a first date and relieves the pressure any expensive restaurant would put on the 2
TheNewGuy03 29
I never said it had to be at an expensive restaurant; a first date could be anywhere they choose. But most bars I know of aren't quiet places (though they exist). From OP's account, it seems like a regular bar, which can be prone to distractions.
Kaylana_fml 31
Many of the commenters are assuming this is the whole story. It's very possible, likely even, that it was the OP's response to boob girl that earned him the slap. E.g. stared too hard and too long, didn't object quickly, or maybe even reached out and copped a feel. Possibly it wasn't anything that extreme, but whatever his knee jerk reaction was to the tit that walked over, it probably wasn't immediate disgust, offense, or rejection or his date wouldn't have had time to slap him. Ms. Cleavage was being highly disrespectful of his date, and anything short of the three reactions I just listed would be adding insult to his date. Always be considerate of the people you are with.
vicfirthfan 11
Regardless of his reaction he didn't "earn" the slap. His date assaulted him. It was in no way his fault
Hover 3
You still shouldn't slap people. I doubt it was anything as bad as coping a feel, but if it was, it definitely was NOT ok, but he shouldn't get a slap. No one should get a slap. I hate that it's ok for women to slap men for any reason. It shouldn't be ok to slap anyone. A woman slapping a man should get the same reaction a man would get slapping a woman.
Kaylana_fml 31
I'll concede to that point, I agree slapping is not an okay response to being offended.
J352SAURUS 30
DocBastard: the early days.
jcash52426 5
Please tell me your date was going really bad and you paid your friend to do that. That girl must have been really drunk
jcash52426 5
Come on you have never had a friend come with you on a date that you weren't really into and had a single to get you out the the date. I know it messed up to do but I know a few people that have done it
vicfirthfan 11
You should have slapped her back #equality
Joshawott 21
But, what was the diagnosis?
Colon_Man 17
"It's difficult to tell without my equipment, but I can do what we call a 'vibration test'." *sticks face between the boobs and motorboats*
FUCKTARD_HATER 15
then; M'am may I try a new and innovative technique called a "lump reduction handling"? *grabs boobs*
Hover 3
Why the hell would your date slap you?! That's not your fault! You deserve better her anyway if that's how her mind works.