Today, I was making love to my girlfriend and was pretty impressed with myself for lasting through multiple songs. Then I realized her ipod was playing a medley. I only lasted 3 1/2 minutes. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her iTunes was on random. "Rape Me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, I had a one night stand. After her laying there without moving for ages, she impatiently asked if I'd finished. Once she got bored and told me to just finish myself off, her song playlist began playing "Never Gonna Dance Again". Very romantic. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex to music, which we hadn't done before. I was getting close when it cut to commercial. I was so turned off by the idea of coming during an ad break that I didn't come at all. Thanks Spotify. FML
Today, after spending months learning how to play the guitar and memorizing the music to my girlfriend's all-time favorite song, I performed it for her. Her response? "Well, you kind of ruined that song for me now." FML
Today, I was trying to impress a girl I like by showing off my guitar skills at a party. I'd hyped it up all night. When I finally started playing, I’d forgotten most of the chords and lyrics to the song, and ended up just strumming "Wonderwall" while humming off-key. She left halfway through the "performance." FML
Today, I took pills to make sure I lasted longer with my girlfriend. Good news? It worked fine and is still working now. Bad news? We've been done for a good two hours. FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, after practicing a song for my girlfriend on guitar all day, I called her over to my house to show it to her. After a long speech about how "this is for you," I played for about 3 seconds before I broke a string, which slapped her in her face. FML
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Top comments
vooper 0
minute man, I CHOOSE YOU!
idratherbewrestl 0
relax dont do it! when you want to come!
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Comments (102)
izawrtr 0
Dude, you're average. Stop worrying about it.
akkid17 0
hahahaha I hope u read every single one of the comments and realize that you should have your man card revoked. 3 1/2 minutes... pathetic.
Devonta2008 0
lol That to funny your a tool and need to learn how to please a woman
jcrazy123 0
YDI don't get so excited think of anything other than what you are and want to trydoing jerk off first look on the brightside she with you that says alot
xchd22x 0
FYL sucks to be you....dont pay attention to it too much.
Greyst0ne 0
YDI for cumming easily
ZiggyMorrison 0
This ones easy to fix before you **** your girlfriend jack off hell jack off twice if you have to and why arnt you ******* her a second time? most guys dont last long on the first shot but they go three or four more times after that
sryimanasshole 0
jack off once in a while
RarelyComment 0
Wow I bet a lot of users here are virgins acting like they're so much better than this guy
spykid09 0
damn that sucks i lasted longer my first time