Today, I was making love to my girlfriend and was pretty impressed with myself for lasting through multiple songs. Then I realized her ipod was playing a medley. I only lasted 3 1/2 minutes. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her iTunes was on random. "Rape Me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, I had a one night stand. After her laying there without moving for ages, she impatiently asked if I'd finished. Once she got bored and told me to just finish myself off, her song playlist began playing "Never Gonna Dance Again". Very romantic. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex to music, which we hadn't done before. I was getting close when it cut to commercial. I was so turned off by the idea of coming during an ad break that I didn't come at all. Thanks Spotify. FML
Today, after spending months learning how to play the guitar and memorizing the music to my girlfriend's all-time favorite song, I performed it for her. Her response? "Well, you kind of ruined that song for me now." FML
Today, I was trying to impress a girl I like by showing off my guitar skills at a party. I'd hyped it up all night. When I finally started playing, I’d forgotten most of the chords and lyrics to the song, and ended up just strumming "Wonderwall" while humming off-key. She left halfway through the "performance." FML
Today, I took pills to make sure I lasted longer with my girlfriend. Good news? It worked fine and is still working now. Bad news? We've been done for a good two hours. FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, after practicing a song for my girlfriend on guitar all day, I called her over to my house to show it to her. After a long speech about how "this is for you," I played for about 3 seconds before I broke a string, which slapped her in her face. FML
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Top comments
vooper 0
minute man, I CHOOSE YOU!
idratherbewrestl 0
relax dont do it! when you want to come!
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Comments (102)
Coreman39 0
K, i'm a guy... and 3 1/2 minutes isn't that bad if you can get her there like 3 times during it... *cough* cough* if you do that there pretty satisfied.... trust me :P
squirlgirl91 0
the people who thinks 3 and a half minutes is average.. are idiots. good sex lasts AT LEAST 15 minutes and even then most females won't get off... so you do the math.
raquell 0
ahahahahahahaha
sexmuffin9452 0
LOL my ex lasted almost an hour on first time, he was 15. ! not to make u feel bad or anything buut i think you should get out more!
Javalurso 0
Ok, I'm not the only to use music to timer myself in the act :)
beaner_child 0
hahahhahahahahahahaha oh jeez that hella sucks for you!
hilaryinbetween 2
That's pretty short, but that's fairly typical for round one. The important thing is having a round two that lasts longer, hell, more if you need it to make sure she gets off.
alliteen 3
you know you can train your body to go longer. when you **********, dont make your goal Cumming asap. that's what trained you to only go 3.5 mins in the first place. train your body.
alinka_fml 0
thats an F her life. not yours.
CzechIsBack 15
Dude, I would suggest a little hands on practice, if you know what I mean...