Today, I was making love to my girlfriend and was pretty impressed with myself for lasting through multiple songs. Then I realized her ipod was playing a medley. I only lasted 3 1/2 minutes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her iTunes was on random. "Rape Me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, I had a one night stand. After her laying there without moving for ages, she impatiently asked if I'd finished. Once she got bored and told me to just finish myself off, her song playlist began playing "Never Gonna Dance Again". Very romantic. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex to music, which we hadn't done before. I was getting close when it cut to commercial. I was so turned off by the idea of coming during an ad break that I didn't come at all. Thanks Spotify. FML
Today, after spending months learning how to play the guitar and memorizing the music to my girlfriend's all-time favorite song, I performed it for her. Her response? "Well, you kind of ruined that song for me now." FML
Today, I was trying to impress a girl I like by showing off my guitar skills at a party. I'd hyped it up all night. When I finally started playing, I’d forgotten most of the chords and lyrics to the song, and ended up just strumming "Wonderwall" while humming off-key. She left halfway through the "performance." FML
Today, I took pills to make sure I lasted longer with my girlfriend. Good news? It worked fine and is still working now. Bad news? We've been done for a good two hours. FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, after practicing a song for my girlfriend on guitar all day, I called her over to my house to show it to her. After a long speech about how "this is for you," I played for about 3 seconds before I broke a string, which slapped her in her face. FML
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Top comments
vooper 0
minute man, I CHOOSE YOU!
idratherbewrestl 0
relax dont do it! when you want to come!
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Comments (102)
rmc 0
Yeah this may sound easier then it is at first, but try not to make a big deal out of it. If you worry about it too much next time, it'll happen again.
ofallthetimes 0
Hey I wish my boyfriend was that short. He typically lasts an hour and a half before we quit. He's cum about... 3 times while we were making love? it took him over a year. We have to do foreplay for like... hours before hand for him to actually finish.
WeeHutchie 0
I'm fifteen and have lasted eighteen minutes before... but before that I would manage like four minutes, so it was a very quick improvement...
axlman 0
give her a vibrator and just watch.. thats about how much fun you'll be getting /hahahaha
Akel_fml 0
We need more girl-made replies on this... Start with "I'm a woman/girl and I think 3 minutes is [way too short / somewhat short / decent / fun enough / etc]." Also, ignore politeness. If you lie he'll never have a reason to try improving himself. So, if you're female, reply!
rarrigoni 0
I'm a woman (married). 3.5 minutes? Clearly you're a teenager. It sucks, for both of you, but you'll figure it out. At this point, she's probably relieved it didn't take long cuz you probably suck in bed. But realistically, once you've got "skills" and can actually please a woman, the entire sex process (w/ foreplay etc) should take AT LEAST 30 minutes, if not an hour. Those are our best "sex sessions". Don't give up, by all means, just keep practicing........ learn to focus on something else to make it last longer. Or try desensitizing condoms, they're thicker so you can't feel as much so that you CAN last longer if you're unable to on your own. and by all means, regardless of how long/short you last, make sure she gets off one way or another.
AllyWants2BiteU 0
i'm a woman, haha. three and a half minutes? was it your first time, or what? you need to practice practice PRACTICE! i feel bad for your girl.
grenzenlos 0
dude, these people are being mean to you. I'm a girl and I love it fast and furious. If she hasn't come by the time you have, just finish her with your hands so that she gets her satisfaction too.
casperbabyy 0
omg people are dumb.....I AM A GIRL....and i have to say 3.5 mins is okay like not really lol but its okay when you are younger geezzz just give you a tip foreplay is awesome :) works great :) eventually you'll be able to last longer, like my ex he lasted i kid you not like 2 mins the first time the sec was longer the 5 was like an hour it just depends on your age and how much "practise" ya get lol
gamer_girl 0
im a girl too. i think 3.5 min isnt the greatest, but it is still perfectly fine on 3 conditions 1. theres good foreplay, and alot of it 2. if shes still horny you finish her with your hands/mouth (if you dont mind the taste) 3. youre young/ havent done it too often just saying thats my opinion ^^ my bf doesnt last long either and its still amazing