Today, I was making love to my girlfriend and was pretty impressed with myself for lasting through multiple songs. Then I realized her ipod was playing a medley. I only lasted 3 1/2 minutes. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her iTunes was on random. "Rape Me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, I had a one night stand. After her laying there without moving for ages, she impatiently asked if I'd finished. Once she got bored and told me to just finish myself off, her song playlist began playing "Never Gonna Dance Again". Very romantic. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex to music, which we hadn't done before. I was getting close when it cut to commercial. I was so turned off by the idea of coming during an ad break that I didn't come at all. Thanks Spotify. FML
Today, after spending months learning how to play the guitar and memorizing the music to my girlfriend's all-time favorite song, I performed it for her. Her response? "Well, you kind of ruined that song for me now." FML
Today, I was trying to impress a girl I like by showing off my guitar skills at a party. I'd hyped it up all night. When I finally started playing, I’d forgotten most of the chords and lyrics to the song, and ended up just strumming "Wonderwall" while humming off-key. She left halfway through the "performance." FML
Today, I took pills to make sure I lasted longer with my girlfriend. Good news? It worked fine and is still working now. Bad news? We've been done for a good two hours. FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, after practicing a song for my girlfriend on guitar all day, I called her over to my house to show it to her. After a long speech about how "this is for you," I played for about 3 seconds before I broke a string, which slapped her in her face. FML
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Top comments
vooper 0
minute man, I CHOOSE YOU!
idratherbewrestl 0
relax dont do it! when you want to come!
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Comments (102)
futureflow 0
22th yea!! lol
fatalkiss 0
22th?
jannoreno 0
fail so hard
madmax14304 1
Who cares? As long as you got off.
withered 30
#24 Lol and then people like you wonder why noone wants to have sex with you.
Subjectzero 0
no vote. that's just under the average time it takes for actual intercourse. but you need to not focus on how ling you last, mostly on how well you made her feel the whole way through.
anonacs 0
the time is irrelevant, its the result that matters. if anything thats just less time shes out of the kitchen.
onni_fml 0
I wish I could last 3.5 minutes. Never had a girl complain tho :P Most are too exhausted from foreplay. Or polite?
O_HALEZ_NAW 0
Probably polite.
AshleyRose784 0
dude, work on that
graveworm 0
making love? hahahahahahaha!!!
dankadank 0
hahahah seriously i agree
mrose57 0
Unless she's complaining, why are you?
withered 30
There is no way she got anything from those few minutes. Sex like that is a waste of time and no sex is actually better than horrible one. I wouldn't count anything under 10min a sex.
Rota 0
I hope you went back and "made love" after your one minute wonder session.
Qup 0
well, at least you are mindfull of it. you've got room for improvement and practice does make perfect. so get practicing!