Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on my cheek. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML
Today, I was being a little playful with my boyfriend when we began wrestling. He then put me in a choking headlock and wouldn't let me out until I "tapped out". FML
Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend screamed that I was a "filthy, sex-crazed pig-man" because I grabbed her ass. We were in her house, alone, and she was in the middle of giving me a long, deep kiss after I'd gotten off work. FML
Today, I had a panic attack because my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to choke me in the middle of sex. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
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Top comments
iemislayer 10
Dump her cheating ass
Wiringify 22
Hopefully she just mistook the date.
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Comments (164)
Fruhling 16
Am I the only one that thinks she probably just mixed things up. Like saying see you tomorrow to your colleagues on a friday when you won't see them till monday. Get things cleared up before making an actual decision.
xx000o 27
I don't think she would confuse something like that.
SpamPam 18
Why does that make 25 an idiot?
monnanon 13
becuase the word is confuzzle. sheesh everyone knowa that.
Mortoli 30
Lol might want to think about that what if he never choked her before. She is his fiancé and the way he stated it all sounds like he never done it before
Jharrist89 12
Ohh no... I hope you didn't choke her out of anger. But I'd be asking for that ring back if I were you op.
rosenkrieger223 24
Ah, flashback humor. lol
iiTzNeeNerz 26
Choke her... To death.
GoodLookingGeese 10
Not a good advice. Killing a sh*t and going to jail as for a person..
dancinwookie 21
#26- I think you just flush it.
socccer_chick_02 9
She might not be cheating. It could have been a dream that she thought actually happened, to maybe she lost track of the days and it was the day before not that night.
jonha21 11
You High
socccer_chick_02 9
#93, no I am not high. I don't smoke weed.
SirTalkaton 22
No you should definitely choke her. I mean she asked for it, so really you're good. Sorry OP, that's total bs.
onorexveritas 23
be glad you're rid of her
rainbow73100 7
What if someone tried to murder her? O.o
AthiestNun 11
That was my first thought. OP was getting robbed, robber found girlfriend, and had sex with her instead after finding out she likes being choked. Your girlfriend saved your stuff OP!
Enslaved 36
An incubus? :P I find it amusing that you referred to choking and nails dug in-- as "Making Love" vs having sex. Sounds like she'd prefer to be ******! You can still be in love you know!
Enslaved 36
Hopefully-- "Whatever tomorrow brings OP will be there with open arms and open eyes, yeh!"
monnanon 13
are you referring to OP or hia girlfriend because the girl would be a succubus.
BubbleGrunge 18
Don't worth Noor, it's because OP's girlfriend has had enough of this world and it's peoples mindless games!
catsie_fml 14
was she raped...? ha