Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on my cheek. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML
Today, I was being a little playful with my boyfriend when we began wrestling. He then put me in a choking headlock and wouldn't let me out until I "tapped out". FML
Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend screamed that I was a "filthy, sex-crazed pig-man" because I grabbed her ass. We were in her house, alone, and she was in the middle of giving me a long, deep kiss after I'd gotten off work. FML
Today, I had a panic attack because my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to choke me in the middle of sex. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
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Top comments
iemislayer 10
Dump her cheating ass
Wiringify 22
Hopefully she just mistook the date.
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Comments (164)
darkelf549 3
At least you didn't have to add "my twin brother had off last night" See, could always be worse.
soapmactavish82 8
Maybe she was raped and thought it was you
Mega_Mudkipz 5
....at work choking her :D
britneylee 1
PSH THAT SHIT DON'T FEEL GOOD! WHAT A CHHEATING BITCH! GET URSELF TESTED ASAP
Purplecodfan5 4
**** her dump her cheating ass she deserves to be dumped
ChuckNorris2 4
Confront her about this immediately.
iyalol22 8
Cheater
tifferknee 10
nothing wrong withbeibg choked ;) but you shoukd dumb that lying *****!!
XxQuartersxX 14
All I can think is that that hard-on was instantly lost. Sorry, man :c Your girl sucks :(
brianlarkin 7
Maybe a person broke into your house in the dark and your gf thought it was you and he choked her