Intimacy: Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails...

By Anonymous - 01/06/2013 07:51 - United States - Portland

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 090

You deserved it 6 169

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Same thing different taste

By katie - 25/05/2011 08:23

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 953

You deserved it 19 160

By Anonymous - 19/10/2012 20:54 - Czech Republic - Ceska

Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 554

You deserved it 31 802

By Walter - 24/10/2015 03:17 - Spain

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 112

You deserved it 6 244

By rebeccacaissie - 21/11/2010 18:16 - United States

Today, I was being a little playful with my boyfriend when we began wrestling. He then put me in a choking headlock and wouldn't let me out until I "tapped out". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 594

You deserved it 8 895

Action - Reaction

By CaptBlood - 21/05/2021 00:01

Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 174

By Anonymous - 20/10/2015 09:44 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 815

You deserved it 3 650

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 127

Classically Abby

By shesanexnow - 19/08/2022 22:00

Today, my girlfriend screamed that I was a "filthy, sex-crazed pig-man" because I grabbed her ass. We were in her house, alone, and she was in the middle of giving me a long, deep kiss after I'd gotten off work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 301

You deserved it 203

Kinky

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 03:03 - United States

Today, I had a panic attack because my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to choke me in the middle of sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 825

You deserved it 6 139

Girl boss

By dating walter white's gf apparently - 06/04/2013 19:13 - United Kingdom

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 092

You deserved it 13 413

iemislayer 10

Saturday 1 June 2013 19:03

Dump her cheating ass

Wiringify 22

Saturday 1 June 2013 19:03

Hopefully she just mistook the date.

Comments

darkelf549 3

Wednesday 5 June 2013 11:25

At least you didn't have to add "my twin brother had off last night" See, could always be worse.

soapmactavish82 8

Saturday 8 June 2013 6:30

Maybe she was raped and thought it was you

Mega_Mudkipz 5

Monday 10 June 2013 5:22

....at work choking her :D

britneylee 1

Tuesday 11 June 2013 20:56

PSH THAT SHIT DON'T FEEL GOOD! WHAT A CHHEATING BITCH! GET URSELF TESTED ASAP

Purplecodfan5 4

Sunday 16 June 2013 6:33

**** her dump her cheating ass she deserves to be dumped

ChuckNorris2 4

Monday 17 June 2013 11:53

Confront her about this immediately.

iyalol22 8

Saturday 22 June 2013 20:54

Cheater

tifferknee 10

Friday 23 August 2013 7:50

nothing wrong withbeibg choked ;) but you shoukd dumb that lying *****!!

XxQuartersxX 14

Tuesday 12 November 2013 6:49

All I can think is that that hard-on was instantly lost. Sorry, man :c Your girl sucks :(

brianlarkin 7

Friday 7 February 2014 4:46

Maybe a person broke into your house in the dark and your gf thought it was you and he choked her

Keywords

Transportation Awkward Cars Embarrassing Kids Family Babysitter Relatable Thief Money Mental health Health Depression Work Wanker Bodyshaming Love Annoying Vacation Students Parenting Intimacy AITA First Dates Singing Animals Cats Public freakouts Weddings Cops

The Top

Today, I logged into our family's shared Amazon account to buy some gift cards for Mother's Day. I nearly had a heart attack when I saw the cart already had 6 items in it. Turns out my forgetful stepbrother was debating on what gazebo to buy and forgot to take the items out of the cart. Why'd he put them in there though? FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 322

Today, a police officer pulled me over while I was riding my high performance motorbike. He asked if I knew why he'd pulled me over. It was too tempting to resist at the time, but in hindsight telling him ,“Because I let you?” was not the best idea I’ve ever had. Cops have no sense of humour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 706

The Top

Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 343

You deserved it 9 761

Today, I found out the psychiatrist who treats me for bipolar disorder died. He committed suicide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 039

You deserved it 126

Today, I asked my group via Discord if we had a meeting with the professor we're working with on a project. I got to chatting with someone else regarding the class we had just gotten out of, and forget to check the Discord until hours later, realizing one of my group mates had said yes, and that I had missed it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 1 258

Today, I have spheksophobia, a fear of wasps and hornets. Instead of being supportive, my parents have decided that threatening to beat the dog shit out of me whenever I react to a wasp in the house is the best way to "cure" me. They also won't spray against wasps because dad claims it irritates his allergies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 92

Today, I came home after a party to my parents, who confronted me. They said that my phone had made a pocket call to them and they heard a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked my phone after. I hadn't called them in 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 653

You deserved it 67 482

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 039

You deserved it 59 278