Today, I was lying on the bed with my boyfriend. We were watching his cell phone when an automatic reminder message came on the screen: "Do not forget to tell a lie to babe about going out this Friday". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I pretended to not be able to go out with a friend so I could hang with my boyfriend at the movies. When I sat down, I received a text that said, "Turn around." It was her. FML
Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend about having plans on tonight so he'd think I had a life outside of him. All my "friends" are going to a party. I'm not invited. FML
Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML
Today, I was watching TV and started freaking out thinking I forgot to wish my boyfriend a happy anniversary. I wrote him a text and after I'd sent it, I realized that the date is mine and my ex's anniversary date. FML
Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML
Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend, who screamed at me for being a f-ing liar and never taking time for him. He'd called my work and knew I wasn't there as I said I'd be. He was right - I was lying. I'd been driving for the past 10 hours to his family's beach house to surprise him. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend who's sick, he told me he felt sleepy due to meds and was going to bed. I jokingly said, "you're going to call your other girlfriend, aren't you?" There was silence before I heard, "you weren't supposed to find out like this." FML
Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period. He memorized my menstrual cycle, but still forgot that today is my birthday. FML
Today, I made up a lie to my girlfriend so I could go to a club with my friends. My girlfriend told me that she was going to stay in and watch a movie. Guess who I shockingly ran into at the club, with her girlfriends? FML
Today, I purposely misspelled words while texting my boyfriend so he would think I was out partying and having a life. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SEXMUFFIN21 0
who watches a cell phone? you need to get laid
jennaleighhh 0
...watching a cellphone? if that isn't the weirdest hobby i've ever heard...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (151)
cwl727 33
He needs a reminder to lie to you! That is stupid.
Jared900DUmpling 30
Plot twist, he was talking about the pig "Babe"
SuperVertigo 13
Today, me and my girlfriend were watching my cellphone and my automatic message came up, reminding me to lie to babe so I can go out with the guys Friday. FML
fantasyworld 39
Who watches a phone?
daemonsparta 16
who sets that?
StarkWolf_fml 23
Oops! caught!
PotatoesAndCake 26
Now, you've the chance to dump him and find a guy who loves and deserves you
jentrynicole 20
Did he call them to check on you because he was worried or did he really just want them to wake you up?
Magnoxidans 19
I can only imagine something else is going on in your life that would have him worried? Because you can go to jail for sending police out on wild goose chases..
Izabushel 65
Oh good! My comment isn't the only one that ended up on the wrong FML. How on earth did this happen!
Magnoxidans 19
I can only imagine something else is going on in your life that would have him worried? Because you can go to jail for sending police out on wild goose chases..