Today, I was lying on the bed with my boyfriend. We were watching his cell phone when an automatic reminder message came on the screen: "Do not forget to tell a lie to babe about going out this Friday". FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I pretended to not be able to go out with a friend so I could hang with my boyfriend at the movies. When I sat down, I received a text that said, "Turn around." It was her. FML
Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend about having plans on tonight so he'd think I had a life outside of him. All my "friends" are going to a party. I'm not invited. FML
Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML
Today, I was watching TV and started freaking out thinking I forgot to wish my boyfriend a happy anniversary. I wrote him a text and after I'd sent it, I realized that the date is mine and my ex's anniversary date. FML
Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML
Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend, who screamed at me for being a f-ing liar and never taking time for him. He'd called my work and knew I wasn't there as I said I'd be. He was right - I was lying. I'd been driving for the past 10 hours to his family's beach house to surprise him. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend who's sick, he told me he felt sleepy due to meds and was going to bed. I jokingly said, "you're going to call your other girlfriend, aren't you?" There was silence before I heard, "you weren't supposed to find out like this." FML
Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period. He memorized my menstrual cycle, but still forgot that today is my birthday. FML
Today, I made up a lie to my girlfriend so I could go to a club with my friends. My girlfriend told me that she was going to stay in and watch a movie. Guess who I shockingly ran into at the club, with her girlfriends? FML
Today, I purposely misspelled words while texting my boyfriend so he would think I was out partying and having a life. FML
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Top comments
SEXMUFFIN21 0
who watches a cell phone? you need to get laid
jennaleighhh 0
...watching a cellphone? if that isn't the weirdest hobby i've ever heard...
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Comments (151)
hansbaby 0
I think she meant thy were watching sumthing on his phone like a movie
imnotcraZ 0
how stupid is he?
TKrisha_fml 5
Your life must stuck, if all you do it sit there and watch your boyfriend' phone
hateevryone 15
i would shove that phone up his ass
ArielTheMermaid 17
assuming you were watching a movie. cuz if you really were just staring at his phone, that's a problem in itself
whocaresfylfml 0
technology these days, instead of watching sunsets it changed to watching technological devices
lexilou1824 6
One, what is he "doing" friday? two, you need to dumb him and 3, wow he might be cheating...just saying
TheOmen46 1
One should be: who is he doing Friday and the other error is that it should be dump not dumb him idiotic redneck and he IS cheating on her, the question of might no longer applies
MissCuteStack 12
Mabye... it was his other those mums really dont like us ****** ...
ShinedownLuv 14
Why were you watching his cellphone?!!
monotoko 5
sounds to me like Steve Jobs bloody autocorrect