Today, I was lying on the bed with my boyfriend. We were watching his cell phone when an automatic reminder message came on the screen: "Do not forget to tell a lie to babe about going out this Friday". FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I pretended to not be able to go out with a friend so I could hang with my boyfriend at the movies. When I sat down, I received a text that said, "Turn around." It was her. FML
Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend about having plans on tonight so he'd think I had a life outside of him. All my "friends" are going to a party. I'm not invited. FML
Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML
Today, I was watching TV and started freaking out thinking I forgot to wish my boyfriend a happy anniversary. I wrote him a text and after I'd sent it, I realized that the date is mine and my ex's anniversary date. FML
Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML
Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend, who screamed at me for being a f-ing liar and never taking time for him. He'd called my work and knew I wasn't there as I said I'd be. He was right - I was lying. I'd been driving for the past 10 hours to his family's beach house to surprise him. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend who's sick, he told me he felt sleepy due to meds and was going to bed. I jokingly said, "you're going to call your other girlfriend, aren't you?" There was silence before I heard, "you weren't supposed to find out like this." FML
Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period. He memorized my menstrual cycle, but still forgot that today is my birthday. FML
Today, I made up a lie to my girlfriend so I could go to a club with my friends. My girlfriend told me that she was going to stay in and watch a movie. Guess who I shockingly ran into at the club, with her girlfriends? FML
Today, I purposely misspelled words while texting my boyfriend so he would think I was out partying and having a life. FML
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Top comments
SEXMUFFIN21 0
who watches a cell phone? you need to get laid
jennaleighhh 0
...watching a cellphone? if that isn't the weirdest hobby i've ever heard...
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Comments (151)
UnicornWaffles 23
That's what you tax payers pay for, personalized live alarm clocks.
Magnoxidans 19
Your boss must have reason to be worried otherwise it seems like a pretty extreme reaction. Also you can be arrested yourself for sending police without cause so I wonder what his excuse was when calling them up?
UnicornWaffles 23
That's what you tax payers pay for, personalized live alarm clock.
Tripartita 45
"Sir there's been reports of a burglar in the area." "My god, was anything taken?" "Yes. Company time." *puts on sunglasses."
Izabushel 65
Maybe OP's boss was worried that she was sick and that was the best way they had of making sure she was ok. I would hope they tried phoning first. Many years ago I had a friend who worked in a hospital in a very rural part of far North Queensland. She said that if you called in sick, they sent an ambulance out to get you. Apparently if you were sick enough to not come to work, you needed to be in hospital. Maybe they would have called the police as well if you didn't turn up for your shift? Bit of an overreaction really. Mind you, if it was a small town, I could just imagine some boss who had a police officer as a friend ringing them up and saying something like "If you are not busy, could you pop over to Love2sleep's place and give her a good scare for me?".
Izabushel 65
Ok, something really odd is happening. This comment is for another FML and its ended up here! Looks like it has happened to a few others as well.
MandieL 27
That seems like a good use of police resources. Did he do it because he genuinely thought you needed the cops? Or did he do it as a prank because he has friends in the force they were willing to do this for him?
hdgross 8
Or their boss wants to make sure they were OK if they had never just skipped without a warning...
I_own_a_dog 11
I can smell that top comment from a mile away..
bstarqueen 16
This comment is gold! Especially the last paragraph!
straymondar 10
OP, please respond, but what is your job???