Today, I was in the elevator with my female coworker and a very attractive teen in front of us. My coworker reached out and grabbed the boobs of the teen in front of us, and blamed it on me. I got yelled at, kneed in the crotch, and punched in the face. My coworker couldn't stop laughing. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I shared an elevator alone with an attractive co-worker. On our way up, she let out a loud, noxious rip. She covered her nose and mouth while giving me an accusing look, as I said with a straight face, "Excuse you." Later, I received a note from HR for harassment. FML
Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said, "Nice chair." She replied, "Nice bruise" and punched me in the nuts. FML
Today, my coworker got angry at a mean customer. She came to the back where I work and started punching the wall repeatedly. When I tried to intervene and stop her from breaking her hand, she punched me in the stomach and uppercut me. FML
Today, I was on my way to work behind a very slow car. At a red light, the lady came over and punched me in the face for following her too closely. We are coworkers and our desks are next to each other. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I dropped in on my wife at her part time waitressing job. As I was leaving, I gave her tushie a playful squeeze. I was then tackled by some acne-ridden teenage blockhead trying to impress the hot waitress by beating up the guy groping her. FML
Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML
Today, at a meeting, I had a heated argument with the only female employee at the office. A little later, I managed to hit her in the face with a door, giving her a bruise. Nobody believes it was an accident. FML
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Top comments
MutatedPie 0
knee her in the ****** and falcon punch her face then
FYLDeep 25
You're gonna have to Chris Brown that bitch.
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Comments (138)
asherb0y 9
EVIL WOMAN! hahhahaha lol
fakeaccountX 6
Sounds like both of them need to be thrown down the elevator shaft.
ncvolley123 8
that's sexual harrassment, and she can sue you, and make a citzens arrest.
Salaminizer 0
Citizen's arrest is a myth. Besides, what kind of self-respecting criminal (or otherwise) would actually adhere to it? "STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM!" "Oh darn, ya got me." *lays facedown on the floor* Just like that.
PiMpMySaLaD 0
but u Gota respect my authority as a citizen
GiggidyPants 0
grab her **** and say it was a retarded kid
tatababe 1
Damn I think that lesbian wanted some action
ndvorsky 4
OP did not touch her and thus cannot be sued
fightingkittens 39
Unfortunately, 48, that's exactly what I would do if some random dude grabbed my boobs. Or if it seemed like he had. A week ago some random guy started whacking me with a balloon sword, and I chased him down the Hollywood Boulevard, cursing. It's a heat-of-the-moment kind of thing. I do agree that the coworker is a bitch, although she's freaking awesome for that.
Lichinamo 33
125, heat of the moment doesn't exist for everyone. The same person grabbed my boobs twice in a five-minute period and held on and all I did was shout at him to stop because I was too terrified to do anything.
GavinRoskamp 0
I love her!
cafeboy 0
how did the alleged boob grabbing take place? I've only ever seen boobs on the front of a person... how didn't the teen see your co-worker... I call bluff
MutatedPie 0
knee her in the ****** and falcon punch her face then
andyp010 10
asians. everythings gotta have somthin to do with cartoon
hedgerow 0
Falcon cuntpunch!
ZombieK1ll4 8
Stupid Asian. Stfu
dalink 24
Then teabag her repeatedly while yelling Halo-esque obscenities.
Paws_Cat 29
Falcunt punch!
Nikki_ASW 0
Time to get a new job...
FMLephant 2
A black eye and bruised balls. Perfect end to 2010.
mmmkayyy 6
It's 2011 Oh wait, **** I'M A STUPID SHIT... -_-
angrymexican 8
It was on the first of janurary calm down.
FYLDeep 25
You're gonna have to Chris Brown that bitch.
davidlime 3
Haha cause his names Chris ? x{
skywalker66 0
Omg. Idiot.
BlahLand 0
lol me too 7 and wtf lmaoooooooooo if u dont get it then u should watch tmz more ahah
X_o_X_ocutie 0
lol it was rude but lol
theten_fml 9
grab her boob.
starile 19
He should be grabbing her boobs anyway, what're you, gay OP?
missawesome16 0
she's a teen he would get arrested 4sexual harassment Wat hat should have been doing was touching his co-workers boobs btw ops a ******* perv I mean he's ******* hitting on a teen
dog_in_yard 0
#80: I believe you're mistaken. OP had nothing to do with it. It was the co-worker who grabbed the teenager's boobs. Re-read the FML carefully.
xFalzz 0
Your coworker has issues.
ThatsSOBforshort 2
Ikr grabbing a stranger's boobs is totally professional...
xxmollyxx 25
What a weirdo.
sk3l370n 0
I'm a hopeless ********.