Money: Today, after talking to the man whose car I scratched, we agreed...

By ilovepancakes - 20/09/2016 00:29 - United States - Rolling Meadows

Today, after talking to the man whose car I scratched, we agreed that the damages and cost of repair were so low and instead of me paying I just buy him coffee. When I showed up he saw me, decided I was too ugly to have coffee with, and instead demanded full payment in cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 116

You deserved it 1 388

Money

Hiding from the drama

Nostalgia goggles

What's more embarrassing?

By KMilly - 01/05/2009 18:42 - United States

Today, I rolled down the windows in my car. When I tried to roll up the passenger side window, it was stuck. Rain was coming so I freaked out and brought it to the dealership to get it fixed. The man pushed the child safety lock button and the entire garage erupted in laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 386

You deserved it 62 444

By oliviakelly25 - 09/10/2009 06:41 - United States

Today, three months after finally ending a long relationship with the love of my life because he was cheating on me, we are now seeing each other again. And cheating on our new significant others with each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 031

You deserved it 86 777

By tequilashot - 20/09/2016 04:40 - Brazil - Porto Alegre

Today, I finally had sex with the man with whom I've been in love for months. Too bad I was too drunk to remember a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 532

You deserved it 4 702

By Anonymous - 13/02/2015 16:36 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, my "best friend" stole almost $1,000 worth of electronics and video games from my roommates and me, just so he could pawn them off and buy himself a new car stereo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 587

You deserved it 3 214

By lovely321 - 02/04/2011 19:46 - United States

Today, I was giving a strip tease over Skype to my boyfriend. My mom walked in mid-way through, took a long look at me, said hi to my boyfriend, and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 676

You deserved it 49 953

By Holland - 04/04/2019 12:00

Today, my check engine light came on. I took my car to the dealership, to be told it wasn’t an issue, and I would be fine to drive and use my car normally until my appointment in 4 days. Four hours later, my car won’t start 45 minutes from home. I guess a $200 tow bill means I wasn’t fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 971

You deserved it 152

By kiran - 24/10/2009 04:19 - United States

Today, I went to the post office and as I entered the building my car alarm went off. Thinking I'd accidentally pressed the alarm on my keys, I shut it off without looking. When I returned to my car, the passenger window was demolished and my purse with all my money was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 043

You deserved it 39 489

Karen strikes again

By Anonymous - 17/02/2021 08:01

Today, at work as a manager at pizza place, I got yelled by a customer because they got one fewer paper plates than they asked for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 92

By veggiedude - 08/05/2014 03:01 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend suggested we try something new and spontaneous. Excited to find out first-hand what she had in mind, and ready to fool around, I hurried over to her place. Turns out she's just taken up vegan cooking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 642

You deserved it 6 595

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 04:53 - United States

Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 047

You deserved it 2 541

By Anonymous - 15/07/2017 00:30 - Italy - Verona

Today, as I woke up, the first thing I saw was a bee on my hand. I tried not to make the slightest move, waiting for it to fly away without stinging me. The second thing I saw was my cat jumping at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 686

You deserved it 428

By Happy Employee - 31/08/2014 21:51 - United States

Today, I returned from my first paid vacation in the past 2 years from a place with no cell, or internet. I've just found out that our department has been downsized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 229

You deserved it 2 695

By thankshun13 - 07/09/2012 02:45 - United Kingdom

Today, my fiancé told me that the thought of having sex with a pregnant woman repulsed him. I'm pregnant. He's glad he got that off his chest FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 507

You deserved it 4 197

By lisa321 - 02/04/2009 02:36 - United States

Today, I went to Starbucks to get coffee. The employees told me that there was no more coffee. I started cursing at them and told them that I am in a really big hurry, and that I need coffee every day. They had been yelling back the whole time. Little did I realize, they were saying April Fool's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 505

You deserved it 116 208

By ugh - 21/01/2014 18:55 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I went to an important job interview. I was really anxious but tried to soldier on anyway. When I was called in, my nerves got so bad that I reverted to speaking my second language. Not first, second. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 367

You deserved it 6 012

By so much for a good day - 15/07/2011 17:14 - United States

Today, I grinned for five minutes straight because my friends told me it would put me in a good mood for the rest of the day. It gave me a migraine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 666

You deserved it 27 188

By firethorn - 20/06/2011 05:57 - United States

Today, I opened my Father's Day present from my mother-in-law. It was a glamor shot of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 014

You deserved it 3 566

By NoRunning - 17/06/2011 19:15 - United States

Today, I was at the water park, when I slipped and fell to the ground in front of the no running sign. I was walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 331

You deserved it 5 108

By Anonymous - 21/08/2012 17:39 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 472

You deserved it 2 323

By Anonymous - 10/08/2010 16:34 - United States

Today, I woke up to find a tick stuck to my eyelashes. The only way I know of to get it off is with fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 380

You deserved it 6 894

By gimp. - 08/05/2009 08:28 - United States

Today, I had surgery on my foot. The doctor told me I'd be on crutches for 6 months. I texted my boyfriend the news, promising lots of intimate favors if he'd watch movies with me while on bed rest for the next week. He texted back, "No way. I don't date cripples." Dumped for a broken foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 234

You deserved it 5 249

Getting fit for all the wrong reasons

By Anonymous - 01/05/2020 14:00

Today, for the 28th consecutive day, I went jogging for an hour, even though I never really used to, just to get away from my husband and two kids, because being stuck in lockdown with them is boring me out of my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 333

You deserved it 486

Fantasy world

By Anonymous - 27/08/2021 16:01

Today, as I was approaching climax with the girl of my dreams, my mom walked in to ask if I had her car keys, took one look and told me I need to get out, find a real woman and stop watching porn with my headphones on, so I can hear when people are climbing the stairs to my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 1 704

By Anonymous - 17/04/2012 04:26 - United States

Today, there was a mandatory staff-wide "cleaning party" for a corporate inspection. I was assigned the outside bar which is infested with full-grown roaches with wings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 628

You deserved it 2 213

By fingwhore - 27/07/2014 17:12 - United States - Greensboro

Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 455

You deserved it 6 925

By Anonymous - 03/08/2015 03:25 - United States - Waterford

Today, my friend offered to make me a playlist for the gym. I thought it was really thoughtful, until I started listening to it during my workout and realized that every single song was "Supersize Me" with the title changed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 945

You deserved it 2 228

By Sebastian20 - 08/05/2013 11:05 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 256

You deserved it 15 588

Supportive

By Burden - 12/03/2021 06:31 - India

Today, once again, my mom ranted about how she sacrificed so much for me by moving to a better city. I said it was for my education and to stop making me feel like a burden. She scoffed, "Right, you never should've been born. My mistake." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 155

You deserved it 128

By Fairy31 - 01/03/2012 00:01 - United States

Today, the boy I tutor failed his math test. As a result, the family fired me. The boy failed because he forgot to write his name at the top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 061

You deserved it 2 291

By BigSister - 13/09/2009 18:19 - United States

Today, my 15 year old sister came home at 4am totally stoned. My parents treated her really nicely and woke me up. I'm now grounded until I go college for being a bad influence. I volunteer at schools to talk about abusing drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 956

You deserved it 3 381

By Dope - 24/12/2008 11:23 - United States

Today, I tried to sell 2,000 options contracts, but I bought them instead, resulting in a big loss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 712

You deserved it 23 201

By Anonymous - 12/01/2013 15:28 - Australia - Chatswood

Today, my husband and I finally agreed on something: marriage counseling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 961

You deserved it 6 226

By Anonymous - 06/06/2012 16:25 - United States - Bucyrus

Today, I told my mom I was finally going on a diet. She let me know how proud she is of me fighting temptation, by making my favorite cookies and dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 090

You deserved it 2 640

By AGeeksWife - 12/09/2012 07:03 - United States - Saukville

Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 256

You deserved it 4 183

How could you forget?

By James - 31/01/2021 11:01

Today, I realised that my birthday was yesterday. I was so busy with my painting work that I completely forgot. I realised when I got messages from friends in the USA, wishing me a happy birthday. Seriously timezones? FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 228

By Anonymous - 30/04/2013 18:24 - United States - Pompton Plains

Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 826

You deserved it 8 390

By Anonymous - 20/10/2010 07:00 - United States

Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 266

You deserved it 3 504

By maalmawr - 02/04/2016 05:20 - United States - Dearborn

Today, a friend asked me to help him get rid of a girl who would't stop texting him. It worked perfectly. Now she's texting me nonstop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 880

You deserved it 3 398

You're in the army now, oh ohoh

By Anonymous - 01/07/2020 17:03

Today, my dad set the smoke alarm off at 6 a.m. as a "practice drill." I was woken up so suddenly, I fell out of bed into the bucket of sick I had been throwing up into the night before due to flu. Dad yelled at me for not getting out of the house in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 560

You deserved it 125

By tallwoman - 18/05/2010 18:57 - Denmark

Today, I was at a concert. During the concert, my shoelaces went undone, so I bent down to tie them. Not two seconds later, the girl behind me jumped on my shoulders and refused to get down. She said "tall guys" are the best to ride on during concerts. My name is Maria. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 502

You deserved it 4 086

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Top comments

54754N4 14

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Tuesday 20 September 2016 12:27

wtf. didn't he see you when you talked about the scratches ?

MidnaLink 33

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Tuesday 20 September 2016 12:11

Geez, what a dick. Personally, I'd have enjoyed the Java and shut up.

MidnaLink 33

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Tuesday 20 September 2016 12:11

Geez, what a dick. Personally, I'd have enjoyed the Java and shut up.

FML_HelloItsMe 15

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Tuesday 20 September 2016 12:13

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

daisy08 17

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Tuesday 20 September 2016 13:40

What?

brownwolf023 3

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Tuesday 20 September 2016 16:22

you DODGED* a bullet

thatweirdasian 22

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Tuesday 20 September 2016 18:23

I had to look up what "DW" stands for, lol. But how is it dodging a bullet when OP now has to pay for the damages instead of just paying for coffee? They weren't on a date or anything.

Lalala579121 27

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Tuesday 20 September 2016 22:17

Bend it like Beckham.

lukian_fml 29

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Wednesday 21 September 2016 1:06

"Coffee" isn't a euphemism?

54754N4 14

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Tuesday 20 September 2016 12:27

wtf. didn't he see you when you talked about the scratches ?

_Adog2645 24

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Tuesday 20 September 2016 12:42

Online?

WCARlover 34

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Tuesday 20 September 2016 12:43

Probably left her phone number

Lalala579121 27

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Tuesday 20 September 2016 13:01

I assume OP accidentally scratched his car while it was parked, then left a note apologizing/putting her number for him to call.

Brandi_Faith 33

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Tuesday 20 September 2016 13:17

What a jerk! Especially if op went out of her way to leave a note (which is what sounds like happened). Most people would've left asap instead of leaving a note claiming responsibility; and then this guy acts like that, total jerk. Hand over the money, and hopefully you never have to be around that guy again; he, unfortunately, has to live with himself and eventually that'll be hard to do. It's a shame that the saying, "no good deed goes unpunished" tends to be so true.

thatweirdasian 22

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Tuesday 20 September 2016 18:25

4, I can't tell if you're joking or not, but they had already met in person since the accident happened in person...

beyslay 14

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Tuesday 20 September 2016 19:53

Obviously they hadn't met before otherwise he wouldn't have suggested a date instead of money.

thatweirdasian 22

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Wednesday 21 September 2016 2:57

Oh goodness, I wasn't saying they had met each other before the accident. I suck at wording my thoughts. Sorry!

mooman36 15

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Tuesday 20 September 2016 12:57

I'm guessing he was single and hoping that something more might come of this coffee date. The good news is since the cost was low it hopefully hasn't set you back much.

Bobby319 24

Tuesday 20 September 2016 12:58

I wouldn't pay him a thing until he actually gets an estimate from a repair shop so that he doesn't try and rip you off

Brandi_Faith 33

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Tuesday 20 September 2016 13:19

I completely agree.

arano 29

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Tuesday 20 September 2016 13:14

Legally he can't do a damn thing. He has to report it when it happens. Tell him he's a dumbass and should've just had you repair it to begin with.

pokemonareugly 12

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Thursday 22 September 2016 0:40

In California at least you don't have to report it unless it costs more than 750 dollars in damages

9a_z1 11

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Tuesday 20 September 2016 14:04

Joke's on him, no wonder the only way he can get a coffee date is by writing off someone's debt if he behaves like that.

VonBlitzkrieg 27

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Tuesday 20 September 2016 14:45

whose*

RichardPencil 30

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Tuesday 20 September 2016 14:57

He couldn't really say, "Have sex with me to make up for the damage," but that is what "having coffee" is code for.

kipps_1 6

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Tuesday 20 September 2016 17:14

Make him get an estimate and report what happened. He could always lie about how much the cost of repairs will be. Also, you could pay him the cash and he could always come back later through a more legal route and demand money. Since you don't have anything documented, you'll be legally obligated to pay him even though you had already given him money. Or he could harass you to keep giving him money, and if you eventually have to go to the police, they wouldn't be able to do crap other than maybe having you issue a restraining order or something since you don't have anything documented. I know this is a lot of 'worse case scenario' shenanigans, but this guy is a stranger and you don't know how he will act. Wading through papers and documentation can be inconvenient, but it can protect you from a lot.