Today, I was having sex when a cigarette craving came on. I don't know what's worse, the fact I asked for a cigarette break in the middle of sex or I take that long. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also giving up the things that make her crave a cigarette. Sex is one of them. FML
Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML
Today, I thought it was a good idea to go number two while smoking a "cigarette". My ash tray was over by the sink so I decided to just ash in the toilet. While ashing between my legs, I sneezed and now I have a extremely uncomfortable burn on my man member. Smoking is bad. FML
Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML
Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML
Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he started smoking again and had smoked almost a whole pack in 3 hours. We were on the phone and I was on the bus. He knew that was the perfect time time to tell me, because he knew I wouldn't yell in public. FML
Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend, who is embarrassed of her smoking habit and wants to quit, to smoke in front of me to break the shame. I was loving, supportive, and cheerful, and I kissed her after. I also got a boner. Now I wish she wouldn’t quit. FML
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Top comments
Kyp_kingofhearts 12
cigarette over sex?!?!
persianjr 15
How is lasting long a bad thing?
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Comments (47)
Tyrez 32
Why people pick up smoking is beyond me.
bellydancer82 15
I used to think the same, until I started working at a restaurant with an abusive manager. You literally can't survive without smoking to lift your mood, it's sad. Before I started smoking I thought it was stupid, though. I guess everyone has their reasons.
glabberfasted 16
But why would you even start smoking if you had never felt how it "lifted your mood?" That's what I don't understand, people who've never felt a craving for, or effect of smoking, yet they still choose to start.
boxers4lyfe 17
Well I started out of stress after all my friends telling me how relieving it was to smoke. I decided to try it after a particularly horrific incident and 8 years later I'm still smoking. Worst decision ever
tdawg91 17
Well I started because I was a teenager and it was "cool" .... Now I see these young people light up and think noooo!!! Don't do it! You'll get to my age and realise it's stupid!!
Mr23 9
#26, Why does anyone pick up anything? Drinking, pot, heroin, Twinkies? It's always because you needed to release stress and what you were doing at the time just wasn't enough. (Yes, some teenagers start drinking and smoking because it's "X-tremely kewl", but I don't think they're in the majority)
Ayuki_fml 18
Sounds like a double FML for both of you.
michael_wells831 16
The fact you're so addicted to cigerretes that it takes your mind off how great sex is there's a problem with that
patwo8 14
Dude wtf lol
mikbrooke 25
why are you assuming its a female? and no matter the gender, noone is an ass for not going down on someone.
YellowGray 4
If a sex partner asked me that during sex, I would have kicked him out. Go enjoy your cancer sticks somewhere else.
sweetnsourrr 11
If someone took forever in bed, I would have kicked him out, lol. If you're boring in bed you can't blame the person for getting up and wanting to do something else.
val_is_lame97 12
**** cigarettes. sex is better!
patrickalamo 48
What a charmer
seeoseek 18
How did this even get published??
rinnybell210 16
Bruh, you ain't even know OP's life.