Today, I was having sex when a cigarette craving came on. I don't know what's worse, the fact I asked for a cigarette break in the middle of sex or I take that long. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also giving up the things that make her crave a cigarette. Sex is one of them. FML
Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML
Today, I thought it was a good idea to go number two while smoking a "cigarette". My ash tray was over by the sink so I decided to just ash in the toilet. While ashing between my legs, I sneezed and now I have a extremely uncomfortable burn on my man member. Smoking is bad. FML
Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML
Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML
Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he started smoking again and had smoked almost a whole pack in 3 hours. We were on the phone and I was on the bus. He knew that was the perfect time time to tell me, because he knew I wouldn't yell in public. FML
Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend, who is embarrassed of her smoking habit and wants to quit, to smoke in front of me to break the shame. I was loving, supportive, and cheerful, and I kissed her after. I also got a boner. Now I wish she wouldn’t quit. FML
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Top comments
Kyp_kingofhearts 12
cigarette over sex?!?!
persianjr 15
How is lasting long a bad thing?
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Comments (47)
rnahliisah 10
Since when is lasting long bad?
iuec2wnty5 6
Your paying a company to kill you and make you stop in the middle of sex for their cravings, your a special kind of stupid aren't you
bonasera 11
I would love a man that could last that long.
lowercaseG 13
Why not both?
kpopforeverr 11
Your name musty
mike762414 6
Worst is the fact you stopped. A real man would have flipped her to doggie style, and smoked one.
EpicCrazyBitch 12
I love the way you think!!!
Kittyphysics 21
ive done that.
ztress 10
Smoking is for losers so YDI
kalbrek009 20
I once dated a woman like that...if you have to smoke in the middle of it, I'm kicking you to the curb...I know I last 2-3 hours but, damn if a cig is more important than the multiple o's I'm giving her....she just ain't worth it.
EffyFails 18
eugh priorities and lasting long is a burden? Ok then either way you must be dull as shit in bed, try harder