Today, I was having sex when a cigarette craving came on. I don't know what's worse, the fact I asked for a cigarette break in the middle of sex or I take that long. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also giving up the things that make her crave a cigarette. Sex is one of them. FML
Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML
Today, I thought it was a good idea to go number two while smoking a "cigarette". My ash tray was over by the sink so I decided to just ash in the toilet. While ashing between my legs, I sneezed and now I have a extremely uncomfortable burn on my man member. Smoking is bad. FML
Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML
Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML
Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he started smoking again and had smoked almost a whole pack in 3 hours. We were on the phone and I was on the bus. He knew that was the perfect time time to tell me, because he knew I wouldn't yell in public. FML
Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend, who is embarrassed of her smoking habit and wants to quit, to smoke in front of me to break the shame. I was loving, supportive, and cheerful, and I kissed her after. I also got a boner. Now I wish she wouldn’t quit. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Kyp_kingofhearts 12
cigarette over sex?!?!
persianjr 15
How is lasting long a bad thing?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (47)
greencurtains74 11
If you can't manage that craving for long enough to finish a task, like sex, then you should look into quitting cigarettes. They're interferring with your life and generally that's the sign you have an addiction.
xKai_Axelx 12
YDI for choosing death over love.
drmisin 5
what's love got to do with it?
sc3ptical 30
Probably the odd one out here, but I would of said "great idea" and had one with you :)
tuffykat 8
i with her, dont see how any of this is bad! sounds like my kind of fun!
EpicCrazyBitch 12
I would too!!!
Eloxia 7
Addiction is a powerful thing, OP. I've seen my MIL pick up butts off the ground a parking lot when she has no money for cigarettes, so your story doesn't surprise me at all. FYL because you're trapped in a horrible addiction.
marcranger 29
1. As already stated, there's no gender listed. 2. Not all women come after oral, either. I find oral to be over stimulating as well as disgusting, so I'd be more likely to get off on penetration, even though I haven't in the fourteen years I've been sexually active. In fact, oral sex is so distasteful to me that I'd probably claim cigarette addiction to get out of it, even though I don't smoke.
DoubleDosexo 12
Now that is desperate #50
AnonPotato 16
YDI for smoking.
flee2321 10
F her life honestly. That would feel horrible to have someone stop in the middle and ask if they could have a cig break.
VIRUSBRAIN 5
Why not try something new sex with cigarette... cigarette with sex as long you're smoking ....
TheBookWyrm 18
Try nicotine patches and wean yourself off of them. Soon you won't need those cig breaks at all.
Sora_McKain 36
I tried the patches once. Turns out that I am allergic to the adhesive in the patch. The gum makes me throw up also. So far the only thing that seems to help me is my electronic cig. Of course I am now addicted to that so...yea.