Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML
Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML
Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML
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Top comments
alexphyllis 5
Better make sure he washes his hands first from now on, especially if they're up his ass.
SerendipityRose 26
If you guys go as far as having sex, when he enters, you should say, "Huh, feels like my pinky finger."
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Comments (121)
vocaloidtiger 12
Who knows, this FML could go both ways: Today, it was my first time fingering my girlfriend, and I was really nervous. The only thing I could come up with to say was "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
Enslaved 38
Maybe he's stink palmed someone before. ***Don't eat the chocolate covered pretzels. |:
z563 8
I don't know what stink palmed is but I sure as hell don't want to find out!
awalker2782 5
Ah mr. Dirty Sanchez made an appearance lol
Enslaved 38
It's from the movie "Mall Rats".(:
Neligee 9
Omg !!! That is so gross ! ... Now you know what he does on his spare time !!!
pkrnepal 0
Got kik
TheElderTROLLZ 15
35 is a stalker, don't answer!
Shenannigoats 16
Sure is close-minded in here~
cheetahbaby96 8
35- For the love of all that is good and kind do NOT start that shit on here!
NickACD 27
Oh so any kind of anal sexual activity is gross? Hm, ya homophobic bitch.
pexy_fml 16
That means its not his first one, since he knows the inside of his own asshole
Tempest559 12
Then he a liar. He finger blasted himself.
iStrukk 7
It was one time... ONE TIME
Michele2luv 8
What in hell is he doing up his own asshole anyway?? 0_o
Shenannigoats 16
Masturbating, I'd assume.
lilysmiles143 0
gay masturbation ewww
Octain 13
Way to kill the mood? XD
breeY0 7
I hope that hand was clean or yes, you were definitely getting dirty !
AKGirlinSD 20
Props to original poster's boyfriend for admitting that he plays with his ass while masturbating. Most guys won't admit to that shit.
AKGirlinSD 20
Actually, plenty of men do finger or put sexual toys up their ass. It just isn't spoken about. Besides, I try not to judge when it comes to peoples' sexual fantasies and desires. I say to each their own.
TheDrifter 24
I'm going to guess it's about 10%. It seems for every kind of freaky there is a 10% of the population fanbase.
cheetahbaby96 8
65- Your picture made me bust up!