Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML
Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML
Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML
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Top comments
alexphyllis 5
Better make sure he washes his hands first from now on, especially if they're up his ass.
SerendipityRose 26
If you guys go as far as having sex, when he enters, you should say, "Huh, feels like my pinky finger."
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Comments (121)
AppallingRogue 2
Is no one gonna quote American pie on this one? Guess it's up to me, "this one time, at band camp...."
jmedalene 2
Run!!
mosquito19 14
does he always have dirty brown fingernails?
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Hope you don't catch anything from ass to pussy contact.
DDalton 14
ATM is next!
hatesfate 6
142 - sorry I call ignorance when I see it... And joking about experimenting "too much" is pretty ignorant when you were so adamant about it being homophobes negging you for posting about a lesbian couple. Unless you're one of those lesbian feminists that only care about lesbians and womens rights and forgo gay men and their rights as well....
Calyx_fml 22
Smooth operator.
Calyx_fml 22
What was he fingering?
hatesfate 6
Because "experimenting too much" implies that stimulating ones prostate (a common guy thing but much more common gay male thing) is wrong.. So yes, hypocritical ignorant statement... And it's funny you think you're "aloud" (it's allowed btw) to respond how you wish yet you tried to tell me I am not allowed to respond how I wish, hypocritical and ignorant yet again...
TheDrudgeChild 4
148 - "I'm assuming he is straight like every person on this" Wow. And prostate stimulation for straight men is common and normal.
kelly352 0
Eww