Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML
Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML
Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML
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Top comments
alexphyllis 5
Better make sure he washes his hands first from now on, especially if they're up his ass.
SerendipityRose 26
If you guys go as far as having sex, when he enters, you should say, "Huh, feels like my pinky finger."
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Comments (121)
tobedd 13
95% of guys have done it at least once. It's not gay or gross, the prostate is the male equivalent to the g spot. I'd recommend OP uses this to her advantage and slip a finger while giving head, best he'll ever get.
swedeNix 13
I Guess she could say; this feels like my ****** then :p
perdix 31
Your statistic is false. I've never stuck my finger up my ass for pleasure and I've never heard of anyone who has. In the past, I've had to self-administer suppositories and it didn't feel like much fun. Maybe done right, it can be great, but I think relatively few guys have experienced it.
ogle5431 1
I'd love to see a source. I'd agree with the post above mine. Never done it but did have to use suppositories as well as a check there by a doctor. Both experiences were very unpleasant and I could imagine why anyone would enjoy having something going using an exit only as an an entrance.
jayfreeman80 0
Are you a drag queen? SCARY!!!!!
lilysmiles143 0
i agree with #89, and im a girl
lilysmiles143 0
no i mean i agree to #89
lilysmiles143 0
i agree (with #89)
Ashlee0715 8
So you don't have anal with girls then, #91?
Ashlee0715 8
I was referring to 91
IrNnjar 4
Haha yup very false
JoeRogansBEARD 15
I duno that sounds gay to me
I_Punch_Babies 7
no need to get all anal about it...
shockhead101 6
Damn I feel sorry for you
ebonyirony 29
Too much? Plenty of guys stimulate their prostate
redtigerlily 5
Too much? Hardly.
thisismeFMLing 0
Today, my bf took his shitty fingers and made a beef burrito up my ****** FML.
Elmoo_fml 16
Ew...
Raesin 21
Considering EVERY guy should stick his finger up there every once in a while to check for prostate cancer, the only problem I see is he felt the need to compare holes.
firemedic841 11
Doing a prostate check is not like doing a self exam for breast lumps. Not everyone should be doing it. A trained medical professional knows what to feel for. Not every guy knows what size a prostate is supposed to be.
Llamacod 11
yea, if you had basic biology you should know that the prostate is a walnut sized gland... so I'm going to go with "about the size of a walnut" for the win, Bob
fordman22 0
Butt chocolate!
brandoneyez1 25
He should have kept that to himself. I know it's because the prostate but no! No no no exit only.
charvisioku 22
Not really. Plenty of people enjoy anal. Just because you don't like it doesn't make it wrong. I don't particularly like the idea of swingers' clubs but that doesn't mean I'd assert that they're wrong..