Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "Uh-huh," "Not too bad," and "Yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is." Orgasm gone. FML
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Top comments
osm1989_fml 6
He's the ****** Whisperer.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Grab his dick and say: "Longeeeer"
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Comments (134)
hellproof023 6
Skillz!!
meganfoxissexy 0
Well umm....I don't know what to say other than to wish you the best of luck in your sexual endeavors.
hellproof023 6
Sarcasm. Go beat off to chick with the T. rex arm
shift_love 13
That's ****** creepy. T. rex arm included.
ShyAnn29 15
It's his first time, maybe he got nervous
AKGirlinSD 20
26, are you implying first time ever with a girl or just with her? Because either way, there is just no excuse for that type of sex.
AKGirlinSD 20
26, are you implying it is his first time ever with a girl or just with the OP? Because either way, there are no excuses to make what he did okay.
AKGirlinSD 20
My apologies for two comments. The first one didn't appear so I tried to write the same comment. Suddenly, both are there and my phone doesn't let me edit or delete my comments.
ShyAnn29 15
79, I wasn't really implying anything, just that he was nervous, I do think it was creepy though.
Jeffo193 13
What an idiot. Hope you can find someone to satisfy you properly OP...
blahblah0392 7
Maybe it's his first time, and if she's a good girlfriend she would teach him, so breaking up with someone because they weren't perfect the first time isn't something very normal.
CrewBoy 10
First time or not that kid needs to be smacks upside the head hahaha. Not broken up with but definitely a good smack.
Meshidaru_fml 7
Yeah but saying a **** sentence to his girl friend reveales us that he's an ass.
unknown_user5566 27
43- A **** sentence? Saying "cum" isn't necessarily a **** sentence; it's just talking dirty. When done properly, it's quite fun.
CrewBoy 10
46. I know no one who would just go "cummmm" for talking dirty. I've said "cum for me babe." But really? What kind of idiot just touches a girl and thinks he can make her cum like that?
unknown_user5566 27
49- "When done properly, it's quite fun". Obviously the boyfriend didn't do it quite right, I was just pointing out that simply saying "cum" isn't necessarily a "**** sentence".
rdrr 2
Lets be honest. Nothing can satisfy another woman than another woman!
CrewBoy 10
51, holy poop, my mind skipped over that I just saw "...talking dirty. It's quite fun". 55, Or a man who actually knows what he's doing.
emileyb 3
55 don't you mean lezbe honest
gmc_blossom 21
51- Not to mention that "cum" isn't even a sentence at all. It's a word.
Jeffo193 13
32 Come on. Even during your first time i'm sure you knew not to do something like that...
wickedninja918 1
74- that was punny
dathan 14
Wow. That is... Tha- That is extremely sexy! Damn.
guci101 14
Lololol
osm1989_fml 6
He's the ****** Whisperer.
goebsy 8
Who gets his best advice from "Fifty Shades of Grey"...
unknown_user5566 27
The ****** Whisperer: Cumming Soon to Skinemax.
22JB 11
Haha that's awesome
duckiegirl21 10
He's a Vagician!
wickedninja918 1
haha for his next vagic trick hes gonna take away your ability to ****** XD
Demonfish 14
You may need to hold his hand and guide him through his first steps in lovemaking OP.
miss_madison 10
That's what I had to do with my boyfriend. I cum 10-20 times now. He finds it every time.
MuldRAR 6
Not really a challenge to find it, it's not like it moves around
UncleMuscles 5
12, it's highly unlikely that anyone cums that much within an average amount of sexual time. If a dude did that, he would explode, and the room would be filled with guts and a ripped arm with the fingers still stuck in the shape of his penis.
MikeFoxtrot01594 11
36, I can easily do that, and I'm a guy.
CrewBoy 10
Last night I made my girlfriend cum 147 times. I only came about 87 times but I was just having an off night.
unknown_user5566 27
50- I know you're kidding, but that reminded me of an episode of Taboo I saw once. The guy was multiorgasmic, and had a REALLY hard time being satisfied. Who knew being able to ****** easily would become a burden?
AKGirlinSD 20
All these statements about cumming so much has the song "**** in My Pants," stuck in my head. Thank you ladies and gents!
miss_madison 10
36- Clearly you've never experimented with BDSM. It is entirely possible for a master to set a Maximum and a Minimum. In this case 15-20. It took time but he found the spot and we got kinky. Also, for a girl, multiple orgasms is within the realm of possibility without any pain.
TrailblazerSS 5
Well somebody is awkward..
SneakyCaveman 13
Draw him a map? X marks the spot and all that.
blcksocks 19
He probably uses apple maps
bobgooeyflonder 6
27 - Well played, kitty. Well played,
xX_LilSammie_Xx 4
So teach him. Everybody must learn. If you love him, show him how to please you.
buckdharma 38
maybe he might be good at phone sex
thentaniasaid 20
Just teach him what to do, and it will get better :)