Turn off

By Anonymous - 03/11/2012 18:02 - Australia - Wembley

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
I agree, your life sucks 40 680
You deserved it 4 194

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osm1989_fml 6

He's the Vagina Whisperer.

Grab his dick and say: "Longeeeer"


Well umm....I don't know what to say other than to wish you the best of luck in your sexual endeavors.

Sarcasm. Go beat off to chick with the T. rex arm

shift_love 13

That's fuckin creepy. T. rex arm included.

It's his first time, maybe he got nervous

26, are you implying first time ever with a girl or just with her? Because either way, there is just no excuse for that type of sex.

26, are you implying it is his first time ever with a girl or just with the OP? Because either way, there are no excuses to make what he did okay.

My apologies for two comments. The first one didn't appear so I tried to write the same comment. Suddenly, both are there and my phone doesn't let me edit or delete my comments.

79, I wasn't really implying anything, just that he was nervous, I do think it was creepy though.

What an idiot. Hope you can find someone to satisfy you properly OP...

blahblah0392 7

Maybe it's his first time, and if she's a good girlfriend she would teach him, so breaking up with someone because they weren't perfect the first time isn't something very normal.

First time or not that kid needs to be smacks upside the head hahaha. Not broken up with but definitely a good smack.

Yeah but saying a porn sentence to his girl friend reveales us that he's an ass.

unknown_user5566 26

43- A porn sentence? Saying "cum" isn't necessarily a porn sentence; it's just talking dirty. When done properly, it's quite fun.

46. I know no one who would just go "cummmm" for talking dirty. I've said "cum for me babe." But really? What kind of idiot just touches a girl and thinks he can make her cum like that?

unknown_user5566 26

49- "When done properly, it's quite fun". Obviously the boyfriend didn't do it quite right, I was just pointing out that simply saying "cum" isn't necessarily a "porn sentence".

Lets be honest. Nothing can satisfy another woman than another woman!

51, holy poop, my mind skipped over that I just saw "...talking dirty. It's quite fun". 55, Or a man who actually knows what he's doing.

emileyb 3

55 don't you mean lezbe honest

gmc_blossom 21

51- Not to mention that "cum" isn't even a sentence at all. It's a word.

32 Come on. Even during your first time i'm sure you knew not to do something like that...

74- that was punny

Wow. That is... Tha- That is extremely sexy! Damn.

guci101 14


osm1989_fml 6

He's the Vagina Whisperer.

goebsy 8

Who gets his best advice from "Fifty Shades of Grey"...

unknown_user5566 26

The Vagina Whisperer: Cumming Soon to Skinemax.

22JB 11

Haha that's awesome

He's a Vagician!

haha for his next vagic trick hes gonna take away your ability to orgasm XD

You may need to hold his hand and guide him through his first steps in lovemaking OP.

That's what I had to do with my boyfriend. I cum 10-20 times now. He finds it every time.

Not really a challenge to find it, it's not like it moves around

UncleMuscles 5

12, it's highly unlikely that anyone cums that much within an average amount of sexual time. If a dude did that, he would explode, and the room would be filled with guts and a ripped arm with the fingers still stuck in the shape of his penis.

36, I can easily do that, and I'm a guy.

Last night I made my girlfriend cum 147 times. I only came about 87 times but I was just having an off night.

unknown_user5566 26

50- I know you're kidding, but that reminded me of an episode of Taboo I saw once. The guy was multiorgasmic, and had a REALLY hard time being satisfied. Who knew being able to orgasm easily would become a burden?

All these statements about cumming so much has the song "Jizz in My Pants," stuck in my head. Thank you ladies and gents!

36- Clearly you've never experimented with BDSM. It is entirely possible for a master to set a Maximum and a Minimum. In this case 15-20. It took time but he found the spot and we got kinky. Also, for a girl, multiple orgasms is within the realm of possibility without any pain.

Well somebody is awkward..

Draw him a map? X marks the spot and all that.

blcksocks 19

He probably uses apple maps

27 - Well played, kitty. Well played,

So teach him. Everybody must learn. If you love him, show him how to please you.

maybe he might be good at phone sex

Just teach him what to do, and it will get better :)