Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML
Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML
Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
alexphyllis 5
Better make sure he washes his hands first from now on, especially if they're up his ass.
SerendipityRose 26
If you guys go as far as having sex, when he enters, you should say, "Huh, feels like my pinky finger."
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (121)
sillykangaroo7 4
I love making banana pancakes with really ripe bananas. Natural syrup really endorses the flavor as well.
zandalee 20
Sorry? Is this you putting your fingers in your ears and singing la la la la....,
sillykangaroo7 4
One does not simply make banana pancakes without having full use of their hands and fingers.
zandalee 20
Can be done with feet if you are extremely flexible and very clever...
rawrautumnz 7
This. It's beautiful.
aeisha26 12
thats one of the warning signs u should be watching out for and NOT ignoring.....
perdix 31
Maybe he was fingering your asshole? There are lots of holes in that region and he's not experienced down there. If you're not sure, sniff his finger :D
Llamacod 11
perdix, this is definitely one of your better recent comments
Jumpingmal2 7
Maybe OP should check and see if they do feel the same
Sai_Run614 7
He was probably practicing for when he went live.
bmkc4 1
I can't think of any good reason why my finger would be up my asshole...
WiderWille 11
Pleasure could be one of them.
pajamasam13 0
LMFAO what the f**k :0
SmittyJA24 26
OP: get his finger out of your twat & onto your clit where it belongs! The only thing worse than an ignorant young boy who knows not how to pleasure a girl is an ignorant young girl that won't teach that boy the proper ways!
dragonflyy_86 7
fyi, not every girls like their clits to be touched and some girls actually like to be fingered...
Ambience138 11
Exactly what I was going to say.
clumsy94 8
LOL I'd be like "daa faack?!"