Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About two minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML
Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML
Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML
Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML
Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML
Today, I went to the supermarket and picked up some groceries, along with what I thought was a bag of chips. I ripped it open in the car and realized it was a bag of birdseed. As I spat out the birdseed through the car's open window and tried to clean the mess, a pigeon flew into my car and attacked me. FML
Today, I felt like surprising my coworkers by bringing donuts. Feeling generous, I got a dozen from the most reputable bakery in town. On my way to the office, I tripped, and the box flew open, scattering donuts everywhere. A group of pigeons swooped in and devoured them before I could recover. I spent $30 on pigeon breakfast. FML
Today, during the few free minutes I had while rushing between meetings, I grabbed a plain slice of pizza to go. I stepped outside, ready to eat and walk, when a friendly pigeon flew overhead and added a "free topping" to my slice. FML
Today, while driving, I put on my hazards and slowed to a stop to let a family of geese cross the street. The pick-up truck behind me however, decided to change lanes and speed off, running over at least half of them. FML
Today, as I was walking home with dinner, a pigeon pooped on my leg like a dive bomb. My hands were full carrying the food, so I had to walk the rest of the way with a smear on my jeans that everyone knew what it was. FML
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Top comments
papertigers_fml 0
a truck? on the street? what are the chances?! it's not your fault, you couldn't possibly have known.
ijaywalk 0
Best FML ever. Now hunt down the survivors! YDI for awesomeness, coz your life totally doesn't suck.
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Comments (363)
Neferria 0
Damn. That was pretty unfortunate. What happened after? Did anyone happen to see you?
Charlesdenfreude 0
I'm amazed that a couple of pigeons managed to reproduce so fast that even though some of them died, there were four left. A couple = two FYL because you can't write
PrincessZelda_fml 0
I'm amazed at how quickly people are to judge without reading the whole FML first. A FLOCK of pigeons gathered around the fry. A couple were bothering him. Goodness
mopho 0
Take your smartassery to 4chan.
star_ver 0
FYL because you can't read dumbass.
RedNeckAndProud 0
hahahahahahahaha good job! pigeons are filthy animals
laughingman 0
not a fml
boner_93 2
@ 41, ever heard of lemmings? there's no way this is an fml, unless you work for PETA or something. but even then, you deserved it because you think animals are better than humans
desgent 0
another option is " today I threw 100$ on the road 20 people ran for and two survived. fml"
Kuroftw 0
Let's hope PETA wasn't watching.
RatIsKing 0
woohoo! fewer birds to take a dump on my shoulder! ^^
Bo_day_shus 0
Screw hitting two birds with one stone. You got a whole flock with just one fry. you win.
beezie93 0
HAHA
sergeimosin 0
Who give a shit, pigeons are pests. Grow the **** up and learn that live happens. Things die. Go hunting a time or two.
czechmate 0
Sergiemosin, go **** yourself. my dad is a "hunter" too, but everyone knows it's killing an animal for the fun of it. Murdering an innocent creature sport, to challenge yourself. My dad tries to say that 'without hunters, deer would become overpopulated" which is true, but there are plenty of people who hunt for food, and then there are others who KILL a helpless animal just to get the mount of a deer head on their wall. It's all about macho idiocy. So to all of you hunters just like that, **** you.