Today, I was drinking in the park with my friends. Being drunk, I relieved myself on a nearby tree. Unknown to me, a 4 year old was having her birthday party 100 yards away. I was arrested for public intoxication and exposing myself to a minor. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my work had an employee party at the park and I drank a little too much vodka. Towards the end of the party, I found myself making out with a tree in front of all my co-workers. FML
Today, I turned 21 and had a huge party because I could finally drink legally. Got arrested for public intoxication. FML
Today, I was arrested for drinking in public. It was my friend who was drinking; I was taking the alcohol from her so she wouldn't be arrested. FML
Today, I went to a party. Although I wasn't drinking, I was still afraid the cops would bust me. Halfway through the party, the cops showed up. I tried to hop a fence, ripping my pants and cutting my leg in the meantime. It wasn't until was on the ground that I found out there was a gate. FML
Today, after finishing work, my friend was having a party next door and my driveway was blocked. I parked six houses down and went to the party for 20 minutes. After coming out after three beers, I went to move my car back to my house and go to sleep. I got a DUI for driving 30 feet. FML
Today, I hung out with a friend who doesn’t have any kids. We went to the park, where my three year-old son decided to drop his drawers and shit next to a tree. FML
Today, I had to be bailed out of the local police station while hungover. I don’t remember any of it but I got so drunk yesterday I apparently went and took a shit on my cheating ex wife’s grave in front of witnesses, and was arrested while trying to stumble my way home. FML
Today, at a party, my three friends and I thought it would be fun to urinate in a jug. We dislike the neighbours, so decided to throw the contents of the jug over the fence into their garden. It hit a tree and splashed back. I ended up covered in our piss. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, I got so drunk that I decided it was a good idea to get naked and jump on a trampoline in the back of a neighbour’s garden. Said neighbour is a police officer. FML
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Top comments
skullfuckery 0
Are you 13 or something? Drinking in a park, really?
powersmoke 0
YDI. Drink at home.
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Comments (125)
foobarbaz 0
You're an idiot. I hope you die very soon.
kremit 1
Parks are like giant homeless shelters you must be a very distinguishing hobo for a police officer to spot you, unless he/she caught you in the act... in which case LOL
LewJH 0
Yeh. For all the people saying he's deserved it for drinking in broad daylight in a public place, I'm pretty sure most people have done it. I have, several times.
teentee401 37
Oh, so because you've done it several times that HAS to mean that most people have done it. You and the OP both need help.
FoundManyLemons 0
If you're that drunk that early, YDI.
quaggledoo 0
Enjoy being labeled a sex offender for the rest of your life. Of all the FMLs I've seen, I've never seen one that will literally ruin someone's life. Until now...
fegd 0
That's unlucky but you kinda deserved it. Why the **** were you drunk in the afternoon?
Igor_g5 0
Pervert. you couldn't tell that there was a bunch of little kids around?
FlyingDutchmen60 0
******* idiot
obviousman 0
Dumbass
TheLetterZero 7
"Today, I was drinking in the park with my friends." Idiot. YDI.