Today, I was drinking in the park with my friends. Being drunk, I relieved myself on a nearby tree. Unknown to me, a 4 year old was having her birthday party 100 yards away. I was arrested for public intoxication and exposing myself to a minor. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my work had an employee party at the park and I drank a little too much vodka. Towards the end of the party, I found myself making out with a tree in front of all my co-workers. FML
Today, I turned 21 and had a huge party because I could finally drink legally. Got arrested for public intoxication. FML
Today, I was arrested for drinking in public. It was my friend who was drinking; I was taking the alcohol from her so she wouldn't be arrested. FML
Today, I went to a party. Although I wasn't drinking, I was still afraid the cops would bust me. Halfway through the party, the cops showed up. I tried to hop a fence, ripping my pants and cutting my leg in the meantime. It wasn't until was on the ground that I found out there was a gate. FML
Today, after finishing work, my friend was having a party next door and my driveway was blocked. I parked six houses down and went to the party for 20 minutes. After coming out after three beers, I went to move my car back to my house and go to sleep. I got a DUI for driving 30 feet. FML
Today, I hung out with a friend who doesn’t have any kids. We went to the park, where my three year-old son decided to drop his drawers and shit next to a tree. FML
Today, I had to be bailed out of the local police station while hungover. I don’t remember any of it but I got so drunk yesterday I apparently went and took a shit on my cheating ex wife’s grave in front of witnesses, and was arrested while trying to stumble my way home. FML
Today, at a party, my three friends and I thought it would be fun to urinate in a jug. We dislike the neighbours, so decided to throw the contents of the jug over the fence into their garden. It hit a tree and splashed back. I ended up covered in our piss. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, I got so drunk that I decided it was a good idea to get naked and jump on a trampoline in the back of a neighbour’s garden. Said neighbour is a police officer. FML
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Top comments
skullfuckery 0
Are you 13 or something? Drinking in a park, really?
powersmoke 0
YDI. Drink at home.
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Comments (125)
Broeman 0
Have fun with that sex offender tag dragging you down for the rest of your life.
blakehilli8 0
second bitches
rayrayy_fml 0
nope. :/
hobos_R_us 0
agreed, I think you deserve the charges. Plus you know how people will think of you, they consider peeing in front of someone molesting pretty much. Happened to someone I know.
timtam24 0
When you said drinking at the park i imagined you out at the park at 12 am or something, but when a 4 year old was having a party like at 1 pm or around that time. Wtf in broad daylight? yeah you deserve that
rukusrazor 0
Have a seat over there.... Pedobear approves.... yada yada yada. Now that THAT is out of the way... YDI.
aback 5
YDI for being a hobo.
Bloodknight 22
YDI! Ya nasty!
Uconnrunner 0
Why were you drinking at a time in which a normal person would have a birthday party? I mean, it could not have been any later than like 5 o'clock, you drunk-ass, downs syndrome-infested twat-face.
newmandotcom 6
I work overnight. So 7:30 am my 5:00. You drink when you get off, why can't I?
Captain_Jello 0
YDI for drinking at a park. What a loser. Sucks for you now that you are a registered sex offender too.
CCFML 0
I wish I could hit YDI more than once on this one...