Miscellaneous: Today, I was called by a restricted number. The man on the phone...

By bizzyizzy0121 - 21/11/2011 06:28 - United States

Today, I was called by a restricted number. The man on the phone then explained to me in detail what I was doing at every second that I was on the phone with him. I'm scared to leave my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 582

You deserved it 3 203

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/08/2012 16:45 - United States - Lititz

Today, after months of job searching, I finally got a call about one of my applications. I wasn't able to answer it, but he left a voicemail. I've listened to it over and over, and I can't understand the contact information. He called from a restricted number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 693

You deserved it 1 940

By Anonymous - 14/03/2014 05:07 - Australia - Brighton

Today, I had the cops called on me for acting suspiciously. I was using a payphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 678

You deserved it 4 012

By thanks, dad... - 30/08/2013 17:24 - Romania - Baia Mare

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 114

You deserved it 14 474

By newbffswelcome - 04/08/2013 18:07 - Vietnam - Hanoi

Today, I've been getting calls for over a week on my home phone, cell phone, and the work phone at my night shift, in which someone whispers terrifying Satanic-sounding chants at me. I've now found out that the caller is my best "friend". His explanation: "You seemed lonely, man." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 829

You deserved it 4 667

By wowimscrewed - 14/04/2011 04:37 - United States

Today, my roommate told me there is some restricted number that keeps calling and waking her up at odd hours of the night. She then says she's getting the police involved to find out who it is because she feels "harassed". I'm the restricted caller calling to wake her up from snoring so loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 629

You deserved it 32 840

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By Anonymous - 11/07/2023 17:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered a tracking app enabled on my phone so I switched it off to save battery space. Within 20 minutes my mother rang and demanded to know where I was, what I was doing, if I was with some woman… you get the picture. I'm 32 and own my own apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 108

By gotta euthanize em all - 29/11/2014 19:45 - Canada

Today, while at work, I had to spend an hour and a half on the phone, listening to an old lady relive her entire day in excruciating detail. We're not allowed to hang up on customers, and she was extremely quick to dismiss all my attempts to steer the call back on topic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 986

You deserved it 3 707

By Jinx - 21/08/2017 22:15 - United Kingdom - Dorchester

Today, I got a stern talking-to from the police about threatening and harassing people. Who had called them? None other than my stalker, whom I'd just informed about the restraining order I was filing against him after finding him in my house. For the second time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 375

You deserved it 242

By Werner - 02/03/2009 21:04 - United States

Today, I came home after a party to my parents, who confronted me. They said that my phone had made a pocket call to them and they heard a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked my phone after. I hadn't called them in 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 651

You deserved it 67 482

By Anonymous - 03/10/2011 03:29 - United States

Today, while working in a jail, I had to tell an inmate arrested for domestic violence that no, he could not use his phone call to call me at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 054

You deserved it 2 278

babyyninjas 1

Monday 21 November 2011 12:08

he knows what you did last summer !

ohhhsnapple 14

Monday 21 November 2011 12:08

Have you checked the children? O_o

Comments

SkardeyKat 3

Monday 21 November 2011 12:37

Creeeepppyyyy!! Call the cops op!

Wheredidgrungego 12

Monday 21 November 2011 12:38

One word: Bodyguard.

Ghostkiller12345 9

Tuesday 22 November 2011 6:36

Thats what she said..

OfficeNinja 5

Monday 21 November 2011 12:46

What I would do is get my shotgun, then start loading it. Hey mystery caller, what am I doing now?

whitloves14 0

Tuesday 22 November 2011 2:35

I would to

kelseyk1997 4

Wednesday 23 November 2011 6:02

Haha I don't even know u but love you!!

emjay1284 2

Thursday 24 November 2011 6:28

Ha ha ha classic! Great idea!

PeteyPablo12308 20

Monday 21 November 2011 12:49

Wow that's ******..

nerdygirl9 4

Monday 21 November 2011 12:53

Sounds like a psychotic fan of scream.....

ArielTheMermaid 17

Monday 21 November 2011 22:34

I thought Scream 4 was hilarious xD the masks are scary though

belkinbra 12

Tuesday 22 November 2011 20:30

184, who the **** asked for your opinion?

Adollable 0

Monday 21 November 2011 12:54

Hide yo kids, hide yo wife xD Lol no, but seriously, call the cops and bolt your doors :/

KindaFunnyRight 8

Monday 21 November 2011 12:57

Time to invest in some curtains...

Zoranius 6

Monday 21 November 2011 12:59

Call the police!

Zoranius 6

Monday 21 November 2011 12:59

Call the police!

Zoranius 6

Monday 21 November 2011 13:14

I hope OP's fine right now :/

Inciter 33

Monday 21 November 2011 14:36

Yeah, call the cops and arm yourself with something until they get there, just to be safe.

hawaiianfire 0

Monday 21 November 2011 13:03

Well actually the only immature one in this situation is you. He stated an opinion about your comment and you threw a temper tantrum as a response :O

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Today, I get to add spaghetti sauce to my rather extensive list of things that don't belong in a person's eye but that end up in mine anyway. Other items include molten cheese, rock salt, orange juice, chips of nail polish, cotton fibers, and firework ash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 111

You deserved it 5 027

Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 539

The Top

Today, after a shopping trip, I had the worst diarrhea attack and almost shat my pants before I could even get in the front door. By the time I could get the door open, it was taking all of my self-control to keep from shitting myself. I had to shit on the toilet with the front door and bathroom door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 145

Today, I was at the beach with my parents, and I went for a swim in the sea. I got out and my parents started laughing their asses off. It wasn't until my dad pulled a condom out of my hair that I realized what they were laughing at. My dad even took a picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 393

You deserved it 2 295

Today, I had a group presentation. I kept zipping my jacket up and down nervously. As I waited for my turn, I realized a bunch of classmates staring at me. I forgot that in the morning rush, I only put on a jacket. I only had a bra on underneath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 656

You deserved it 18 435

Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 974

You deserved it 39 651

Today, feeling so depressed to the point of having suicidal thoughts, I texted a girl I had a crush on. Her response? "Can you please delete my number, you're getting annoying." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 504

You deserved it 19 787

Today, I helped this guy get into his truck after he'd locked his keys in it, and he said thank you and went on his way. Ten minutes later, a woman came out of the grocery store and freaked out, saying someone stole her truck. I helped a guy steal a truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 485

You deserved it 798

Same thing different taste

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