Today, I was called by a restricted number. The man on the phone then explained to me in detail what I was doing at every second that I was on the phone with him. I'm scared to leave my house. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, after months of job searching, I finally got a call about one of my applications. I wasn't able to answer it, but he left a voicemail. I've listened to it over and over, and I can't understand the contact information. He called from a restricted number. FML
Today, I had the cops called on me for acting suspiciously. I was using a payphone. FML
Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked, "Who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door, "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML
Today, I've been getting calls for over a week on my home phone, cell phone, and the work phone at my night shift, in which someone whispers terrifying Satanic-sounding chants at me. I've now found out that the caller is my best "friend". His explanation: "You seemed lonely, man." FML
Today, my roommate told me there is some restricted number that keeps calling and waking her up at odd hours of the night. She then says she's getting the police involved to find out who it is because she feels "harassed". I'm the restricted caller calling to wake her up from snoring so loud. FML
Today, I received a random phone call from an unknown number. Three times. After the third time, the person started yelling at me viciously. Then I suddenly heard a different voice, saying, "Terribly sorry, sir. My poor sister has dementia and thinks you're her husband. Her dead husband, I might add." FML
Today, I discovered a tracking app enabled on my phone so I switched it off to save battery space. Within 20 minutes my mother rang and demanded to know where I was, what I was doing, if I was with some woman… you get the picture. I'm 32 and own my own apartment. FML
Today, while at work, I had to spend an hour and a half on the phone, listening to an old lady relive her entire day in excruciating detail. We're not allowed to hang up on customers, and she was extremely quick to dismiss all my attempts to steer the call back on topic. FML
Today, I got a stern talking-to from the police about threatening and harassing people. Who had called them? None other than my stalker, whom I'd just informed about the restraining order I was filing against him after finding him in my house. For the second time. FML
Today, I wanted to call my mom to ask for advice but called my boss instead. I panicked and ended up talking about weekend plans like nothing was wrong. She now knows way too much about my personal life. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
babyyninjas 1
he knows what you did last summer !
ohhhsnapple 14
Have you checked the children? O_o
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (320)
hawaiianfire 0
Well what if number 7's dream at the current moment is to state those who annoy him. Then those who dislike his post would be denying him his dream.
tewalsh 6
Jill, this is sergeant Sacker. Listen to me. We've traced the call... it's coming from inside the house. Now a squad car's coming over there right now, just get out of that house!
zombicidal 11
don't see why people are bashing him he made an intelligent comment and then some moron who can't type for shit had to put his two cents in and he retorted
iliketurdles 7
73, is spot on. However, those emoticons get a tad annoying :P don't you agree? ^__^ No? D: ahh never mind :/.
NoobHat 6
"God...is that you!?"
jedielf 23
Or, more like as Dory would say... "Are you my conscience?"
penizlol 2
U MAD CUZ U BAD?
vassal44 9
apparently the stalker hasn't met facebook
MissLyonsBaby 4
I'd be more afraid to stay in my house
wriptidez 0
not funny! call cops Now!!!!
zombicidal 11
yes 75 but don't we all have some irksome typing habbits (like lots of Smiley faces and people that put signatures or even these parenthesis I do to elaborate or put after thoughts)