Today, I was called by a restricted number. The man on the phone then explained to me in detail what I was doing at every second that I was on the phone with him. I'm scared to leave my house. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after months of job searching, I finally got a call about one of my applications. I wasn't able to answer it, but he left a voicemail. I've listened to it over and over, and I can't understand the contact information. He called from a restricted number. FML
Today, I had the cops called on me for acting suspiciously. I was using a payphone. FML
Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked, "Who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door, "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML
Today, I've been getting calls for over a week on my home phone, cell phone, and the work phone at my night shift, in which someone whispers terrifying Satanic-sounding chants at me. I've now found out that the caller is my best "friend". His explanation: "You seemed lonely, man." FML
Today, my roommate told me there is some restricted number that keeps calling and waking her up at odd hours of the night. She then says she's getting the police involved to find out who it is because she feels "harassed". I'm the restricted caller calling to wake her up from snoring so loud. FML
Today, I received a random phone call from an unknown number. Three times. After the third time, the person started yelling at me viciously. Then I suddenly heard a different voice, saying, "Terribly sorry, sir. My poor sister has dementia and thinks you're her husband. Her dead husband, I might add." FML
Today, I discovered a tracking app enabled on my phone so I switched it off to save battery space. Within 20 minutes my mother rang and demanded to know where I was, what I was doing, if I was with some woman… you get the picture. I'm 32 and own my own apartment. FML
Today, while at work, I had to spend an hour and a half on the phone, listening to an old lady relive her entire day in excruciating detail. We're not allowed to hang up on customers, and she was extremely quick to dismiss all my attempts to steer the call back on topic. FML
Today, I got a stern talking-to from the police about threatening and harassing people. Who had called them? None other than my stalker, whom I'd just informed about the restraining order I was filing against him after finding him in my house. For the second time. FML
Today, I wanted to call my mom to ask for advice but called my boss instead. I panicked and ended up talking about weekend plans like nothing was wrong. She now knows way too much about my personal life. FML
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Top comments
babyyninjas 1
he knows what you did last summer !
ohhhsnapple 14
Have you checked the children? O_o
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Comments (320)
wordbigbird 0
That's when you take your biggest knife in your kitchen and start chopping a banana, he'll get the picture
perdix 31
I don't think someone who will torture, rape and murder you will care that you are training to become a mohel.
japtch 15
117 - Cut a hotdog? Or a squash?
wordbigbird 0
Wtf are you talking about mohel( I assume model) I didn't mean act sexy, unless chopping bananas is your thing...
wordbigbird 0
And 117, if you dont always have a banana on hand then reach for the nearest apple
Aerii 0
Holy shiz get the cops on that shiz yo!
yarsii 0
yeah omg shiz that is so crazy SHIZ! I would be soo scared like shiz so scared. Shiz!!
perdix 31
I'd be scared to BE in the house. Get the **** out and never go back. You'd better run, better run before he gets his pumped-up kicks.
steviesnm 6
This happened and you're on FML? I'd be on the phone with the cops while I packed my bags to get the hell out of there. hahah
drawmesunshine 17
Penizlol is on my damn nerves. Keevarou, I like you. You're very polite, and your comments are generally meaningful and insightful.
aceangel6 4
Its most likely a prank and if not call the authorities
Ciara4757 16
Ok call the police and disable all webcams and wifi in your house i saw thats how somebody stalked people before on an episode of criminal minds i know its a bit far fetched but its worth a try
japtch 15
That shit is fake.
J3R3MYY 14
Youve inspired me to become nice.. Thanks for such kind words this morning 93.
cubancgar 0
Call the cops!
Daederoth 10
Try articulating your points with some backbone instead of half making your point and then apologizing for it. Also, other kid you really do type like a fool.