Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked, "Who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door, "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the backseat of his car, when we heard a voice coming from his pants. Who did he pocket dial? My house. At midnight, when I was supposed to be home. FML
Today, I was in a store parking lot when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "I see you, I know what you did last summer, you wicked little shit." I freaked out and looked around in a panic. It turns out that it was my "hilarious" dad testing his new phone from across the parking lot. FML
Today, I received a random phone call from an unknown number. Three times. After the third time, the person started yelling at me viciously. Then I suddenly heard a different voice, saying, "Terribly sorry, sir. My poor sister has dementia and thinks you're her husband. Her dead husband, I might add." FML
Today, I got woken up by a text from an unknown number at 3 am saying, "haha I found your number." I ignored it and tried to go back to sleep. After hours of trying to fall asleep, my drowsiness was disturbed by another text from the same person saying, "Sorry, wrong number." FML
Today, my dad's work phone went off, and I thought I should go tell him since he's on call. Turns out no matter how you do it, a 47 year old man at one in the morning will think you are a burglar trying to attack him. FML
Today, my phone rang while I was home alone. When I picked up, all I could hear was heavy breathing. Convinced it was one of my friends playing a joke, I said loudly, "Get off the phone, you fucker, and don't call back!" It turned out it was my grandma. She had been having a stroke. FML
Today, I crawled into bed at 2 in the morning. At 6 am, the telephone rang, waking me up. It was a wrong number. FML
Today, I chatted to a nice guy and gave him my number. I told him I was going to sleep because I had a headache, and then put my phone on silent. He rang multiple times, and when I obviously didn't pick up, he sent several texts insulting me and calling me gutless for not responding. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend at 2 a.m., telling him I couldn't sleep. He replied, "Well, I can," and hung up. FML
Today, I got a missed call from my dad, who hasn't talked to me in months and has vowed not to have anything to do with me. I called him back excitedly and apologized for missing his call, and we had a 20-second conversation about how his phone accidentally dialed my number. FML
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Top comments
sxm 13
Go to bed earlier next time!
massinator5 4
My dad texts me when I'm talking to people on the computer, saying go to sleep, I'm 19 haha
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Comments (66)
sxm 13
Go to bed earlier next time!
massinator5 4
My dad texts me when I'm talking to people on the computer, saying go to sleep, I'm 19 haha
Caitie_kid 8
Lol, parental wins
Lea Basler 9
you live in his house you play by his rules, as simple as
realtingdis 12
#3
xtremlysean 6
That's creepy and funny at the same time.
Debragga99 6
32 Well that was unnescessary
emilyjgraham 34
Haha I think your dad sounds quite cool! Although the heavy breathing part is a bit creepy...
Sweet_Meli 11
Maybe he has asthma and he can't help it :p
Dodge4x4Ram 46
haha funny
Phuzix 7
That's exactly what I was thinking too!
perdix 31
'MANIA! A pretty lenient punishment from the country that brought us Vlad the Impaler and Ilie Nastase.
shaww 28
I've gotten something like that before... except it was at 3am, my parents were asleep, and the person kept saying, "I will find you, and I will kill you"
BellaBear90 27
... So quite different to that really. How far past your bedtime was it?
Caitie_kid 8
You should have replied "Not if I find you first" or "I've found you. I'm on my way". Would've probably scared the piss out of the preteen that was pranking you.
lonewolf621 17
Your dad is awesome! Definately going to try that trick.
ButterflyLadyBug 14
I was going to say the same thing ! lol you beat me to it ! lol !
greeneyebeauty9 28
It really bugs me how a lot of people can't spell "definitely" properly. .
eriksen 16
But who made the call then?? - Every blond woman in the world. Just kidding, I sort of respect women.
kkscott 26
Still better than a horror movie...
DEATHBYEX1LE 11
No, I don't believe it is.