Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, the self-checkout machine at the grocery store kept yelling, “PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN BAGGING AREA” while I frantically tried to scan everything. An employee came over and said a bit too loudly, “Ma’am, you have to scan the condoms before bagging them.” Of course there were people around to giggle. FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, I went to the drug store to pick up a few things. After looking for condoms for 15 minutes, I asked the cashier where I could find them. She said they keep them behind the counter due to theft. She refused to sell them to me, because they're for customers who might actually need them. FML
Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to, "Get a life. Or better pick-up lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML
Today, I was shopping with my husband. At the self-checkout, one of the items I was buying for him as a gift didn’t register. As we were walking out, I get stopped and escorted to the loss prevention office, where I was accused of stealing. FML
Today, I realized I'd lost my wallet when paying for groceries. I had to put all the items back and leave the store feeling so embarrassed in front of everyone. FML
Today, I bought a box of tampons and went to the store restroom to insert one. I then put the box inside my purse. On my way out, I got stopped by security, who yelled at me to empty my purse. He grabbed my bag, spilling the tampons everywhere. Apparently, he thought I was stealing. FML
Today, I went to the store, but after I'd selected my items, I saw that I'd forgotten my wallet. When I tried to explain to the cashier, he thought that I was trying to steal and called the cops. My roommate had to come to the store to save me. FML
Today, at a self-checkout, I scanned all my items, bagged them, and left. Only when I got outside did I realize I had completely forgotten to pay. I then noticed that security was running to stop me, and I had to explain that I wasn’t a thief, just an idiot. FML
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Top comments
KBurns207 17
Dude if you're too embarrassed to just buy some condoms, you're probably too young. Just man up and buy them... Sorry but YDI man.
doodieman 9
If you scanned them, couldn't he just look at the screen?
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Comments (148)
naxeeb 33
Why'd you not show him that you paid for it? Like the receipt or something?
Selke 16
Seriously, if you're too self conscious to buy condoms, don't have sex. You deserved it.
VeganVampyre 27
You're a bitch. People can't help being self conscious, especially about a subject that our society has pretty much deemed taboo. You can't just say those people deserve it and shouldn't be allowed to have sex. I have a social anxiety disorder and would never dream of going to buy condoms because I'd probably have a panic attack. However, I also have my boyfriend of 3 years to buy them for me and we will have sex whenever the hell we want. Stop being so judgmental. You don't even know the OP or what her story is.
Obey_StudBoii 23
Who said anything about sex?? She could have been buying them for a friend.
asnakelovinbabe 16
14- APPLY COLD WATER TO BURNED AREA.
PiQo 6
If you're too embarrassed to buy protection you're not ready for sex....which means you're definitely not ready for kids!!!
vencku 13
The whole idea of condoms is so you can have sex without getting kids. People generally become sexually active before they reach the age where they ought to procreate.
AmbienDreams 20
That's true. But the problem might be that if you're to embarrassed to buy them then you might be to embarrassed to insist your partner use them. Which could lead to all sorts of unsavory shenanigans
justmeCee 16
Did you know that 26% of new Hiv infections are from kids between the ages of 13-26? Condoms can protect against HIV and other stds, along with help prevent pregnancy. Not to mention the hundreds of thousands people in North America that are infected and don't know it. Condoms can protect 99.9%. If Op is not mature enough to buy condoms, then they should abstain from sex. And fyi..still very possible to get preggos while using a condom.
Zebediabolical 45
That's not true! #100 taught me today that condoms don't protect against STD's. I guess I've been wasting my money for all these years! </sarcasm>
xNephilim 19
That's kind of the point, 20. Condoms protect against unwanted pregnancies. If you're not mentally and emotionally ready to buy condoms without freaking out, you are not ready to have sex. Sex kind of tends to cause pregnancy if you don't use protection. If you're too freaked out to buy protection, you will probably end up knocked up.
I_Hug_Cats 26
Did you not have the receipt? even if you didn't purchase the items yet it will still show that you scanned it.
ja2006 9
Hey, at least you are having sex...and smart enough to have safe sex. Nothing to be embarrassed about. It's perfectly natural.
teffyweffy 6
I would have written them a strongly worded letter
chuka81 27
Dear sir, I paid for those damned condoms. Sincerly, Angry Customer.
sharibaby 6
Again, not like your the only person in the world having sex. But! On the bright side...condoms or stuff like Preparation H?? Nothin better than them knowing THAT about you! ;)
lbrown66 12
If you're worried about being judged at least make it worth it and buy a large cucumber and some butter with them
pheebs314 17
Wait... What are you doing with the butter?
Kkkdawg 27
That's what I was gonna say! Hell, own that shit! You're getting laid! Cucumber, butter, whipped cream, cherries..and some crackers, for after
Epikouros 32
The butter's for frying the cucumber slices, obviously.
lbrown66 12
You need some extra lubricant for a large cucumber. That is what the butter is for
pheebs314 17
It can not possibly be good to stick butter up there... o.o
Nella_90 6
If you can't buy condoms don't have sex! It's that simple.
cottoncandymango 17
Why would you even be embarrassed to buy condoms? You are actually smart enough to be safe... But maybe a little dumb enough to not know that you're not the only one in the world having sex. There's nothing to be ashamed about using protection to have safe sex.