Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, the self-checkout machine at the grocery store kept yelling, “PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN BAGGING AREA” while I frantically tried to scan everything. An employee came over and said a bit too loudly, “Ma’am, you have to scan the condoms before bagging them.” Of course there were people around to giggle. FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, I went to the drug store to pick up a few things. After looking for condoms for 15 minutes, I asked the cashier where I could find them. She said they keep them behind the counter due to theft. She refused to sell them to me, because they're for customers who might actually need them. FML
Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to, "Get a life. Or better pick-up lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML
Today, I was shopping with my husband. At the self-checkout, one of the items I was buying for him as a gift didn’t register. As we were walking out, I get stopped and escorted to the loss prevention office, where I was accused of stealing. FML
Today, I realized I'd lost my wallet when paying for groceries. I had to put all the items back and leave the store feeling so embarrassed in front of everyone. FML
Today, I bought a box of tampons and went to the store restroom to insert one. I then put the box inside my purse. On my way out, I got stopped by security, who yelled at me to empty my purse. He grabbed my bag, spilling the tampons everywhere. Apparently, he thought I was stealing. FML
Today, I went to the store, but after I'd selected my items, I saw that I'd forgotten my wallet. When I tried to explain to the cashier, he thought that I was trying to steal and called the cops. My roommate had to come to the store to save me. FML
Today, at a self-checkout, I scanned all my items, bagged them, and left. Only when I got outside did I realize I had completely forgotten to pay. I then noticed that security was running to stop me, and I had to explain that I wasn’t a thief, just an idiot. FML
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Top comments
KBurns207 17
Dude if you're too embarrassed to just buy some condoms, you're probably too young. Just man up and buy them... Sorry but YDI man.
doodieman 9
If you scanned them, couldn't he just look at the screen?
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Comments (148)
VeganVampyre 27
I would be embarrassed too, especially because 1- I'm a cashier myself, and if I bought them where I work my coworkers would definitely have something to say, which would be pretty awkward, and 2- I look way younger than I am, most people assume I'm 16, so if I bought them at a different store they'd probably say something about me not being old enough for sex, and that would also be awkward. Lose-lose situation. Also, to all the people saying "if you can't buy condoms, don't have sex. YDI" you're all judgmental jerks. There are a hundred reasons why someone might feel too embarrassed to buy condoms. Hell, I just listed two for you, and they have nothing to do with not being old enough or not being ready to have sex. I don't think not wanting to be judged should mean you can't have sex, that's ridiculous. And being a cashier I can tell you that yes, when you buy condoms (or anything really) your cashier is judging you. Not necessarily in a bad way, and they don't necessarily care either way. But you can tell a lot about someone from their groceries and yes, you will be judged on what you buy, even though the cashier probably won't say anything.
rmsutton 20
I'm a cashier as well, and I agree. My store has no self checkout, so I would never buy condoms there. And my most awkward-feeling orders are the ones with condoms in it. And the customer reactions are sometimes what makes it so. I don't even really look at the items I'm scanning, but the customers sometimes put off a "Don't judge me" or a "Oh yeah, I'm getting lucky tonight" look. And then there are people like me and OP who prefer using self checkout for things like that because even though we are old enough and mature enough to have sex, we don't really like to broadcast it to the world when and how often it happens. My friend, who is also a cashier, is the same way.
TheDrifter 24
I just buy mine at Costco. They come in boxes of a hundred and the cashier doesn't even bat an eye.
NodakN8V 25
Next time just buy a birthday card with it... Takes all the embarrassment out of it.
SmilieAKD 20
Because it worked so well for the girl buying the vibrator.
Tootsieroll0505 19
You shouldn't be embarrassed because this means your getting laid
OnlyTheDarkest 17
Yes, but not everyone likes to broadcast that fact to the world.
mattrd_fml 31
why is everyone so embarassed to buy condoms, lube, etc? the workers see people buy it every day and wont even remember you 5 minutes later. Second, why would you be embarrassed at the fact that you getting laid?
worldclassrager 41
If your too embarrassed go to a gas station...or just forget sex in general...you could have them check your receipt for confirm you were not...
MandySkittles 18
As a former cashier I never understood why people were so embarrassed buying condoms. Just about everybody has sex, and you're being smart about it by using protection. What's so embarrassing about that? Even if you get a couple extra items to 'hide' your purchase we are going to notice, but we really don't care. Own it!
Ryodin 11
Generally, if loss-prevention harasses someone who didn't actually steal anything they get canned. That the ass-hat couldn't be bothered to check and make sure you scanned the item would have gotten any person I know working the field fired. Not to mention the common sense of it being an embarrassing item that people try to hide normally. If a person is ringing up condoms, wart remover, or anal lube you may want to give them the benefit of the doubt on stealing.
fooltemptress 36
You shouldn't be embarrassed to buy condoms! It means you're at least having sex. There are a lot of people out there that aren't getting any and would love an excuse to buy them.
lucyskydiamonds 5
No reason to be embarrassed for buying condoms, OP. Being safe > everything else. Don't worry so much about it next time. Sex is a normal, healthy thing.
russfml 31
If he was security he's supposed to wait for you to leave the premise,he sounds like an idiot