Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, the self-checkout machine at the grocery store kept yelling, “PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN BAGGING AREA” while I frantically tried to scan everything. An employee came over and said a bit too loudly, “Ma’am, you have to scan the condoms before bagging them.” Of course there were people around to giggle. FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, I went to the drug store to pick up a few things. After looking for condoms for 15 minutes, I asked the cashier where I could find them. She said they keep them behind the counter due to theft. She refused to sell them to me, because they're for customers who might actually need them. FML
Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to, "Get a life. Or better pick-up lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML
Today, I was shopping with my husband. At the self-checkout, one of the items I was buying for him as a gift didn’t register. As we were walking out, I get stopped and escorted to the loss prevention office, where I was accused of stealing. FML
Today, I realized I'd lost my wallet when paying for groceries. I had to put all the items back and leave the store feeling so embarrassed in front of everyone. FML
Today, I bought a box of tampons and went to the store restroom to insert one. I then put the box inside my purse. On my way out, I got stopped by security, who yelled at me to empty my purse. He grabbed my bag, spilling the tampons everywhere. Apparently, he thought I was stealing. FML
Today, I went to the store, but after I'd selected my items, I saw that I'd forgotten my wallet. When I tried to explain to the cashier, he thought that I was trying to steal and called the cops. My roommate had to come to the store to save me. FML
Today, at a self-checkout, I scanned all my items, bagged them, and left. Only when I got outside did I realize I had completely forgotten to pay. I then noticed that security was running to stop me, and I had to explain that I wasn’t a thief, just an idiot. FML
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Top comments
KBurns207 17
Dude if you're too embarrassed to just buy some condoms, you're probably too young. Just man up and buy them... Sorry but YDI man.
doodieman 9
If you scanned them, couldn't he just look at the screen?
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Comments (148)
blueknight1st 26
I used to be that way. Now I like to buy awkward things with the condoms like cucumbers, lube and a bag of candy.
Joshawott 21
Should have told the guy to just look at the damn screen. Heck, isn't there even a main console where staff can see what everyone using self service checkouts are buying?
meherm 11
Are you embarrassed to buy pads as well? I would think not. So why are condoms any different?
frappefrapp 5
You do know that the attendant can see everything you scan on the self scan machine on their screen right? I'm a cashier and I can't even count how many times I've watched people buying condoms on the self check out thinking nobody knows.
brittnievicious 9
I'm am a girl. over the age of 18. and honestly buying condoms is sometimes embarrassing. it just depends on the situation. you people are Si rude.
littlexlune 16
Seriously? If you're embarrassed buying condoms, you probably shouldn't be having sex anyway.
amy6703 6
It's nothing to be embarrassed about. As a girl, when I see a guy buying condoms, i think "well, his dick isn't going to turn green and fall off"
fallslikedominos 10
This is just a lesson for next time. Next time you wanna buy some condoms slam those suckers down and OWN that shit
Visibledeath52 4
Should have showed him the receipt
DWynter 11
I know how you feel, OP. I used to be pretty embarrassed about it, too. But then I thought of something - I'm having sex tonight, they probably aren't. And even if they are, I pretend they're not. Also, if you're bagging it, that means the only person looking in is you, so why were you worried some one might see it? Clear bags or something?