Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, the self-checkout machine at the grocery store kept yelling, “PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN BAGGING AREA” while I frantically tried to scan everything. An employee came over and said a bit too loudly, “Ma’am, you have to scan the condoms before bagging them.” Of course there were people around to giggle. FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, I went to the drug store to pick up a few things. After looking for condoms for 15 minutes, I asked the cashier where I could find them. She said they keep them behind the counter due to theft. She refused to sell them to me, because they're for customers who might actually need them. FML
Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to, "Get a life. Or better pick-up lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML
Today, I was shopping with my husband. At the self-checkout, one of the items I was buying for him as a gift didn’t register. As we were walking out, I get stopped and escorted to the loss prevention office, where I was accused of stealing. FML
Today, I realized I'd lost my wallet when paying for groceries. I had to put all the items back and leave the store feeling so embarrassed in front of everyone. FML
Today, I bought a box of tampons and went to the store restroom to insert one. I then put the box inside my purse. On my way out, I got stopped by security, who yelled at me to empty my purse. He grabbed my bag, spilling the tampons everywhere. Apparently, he thought I was stealing. FML
Today, I went to the store, but after I'd selected my items, I saw that I'd forgotten my wallet. When I tried to explain to the cashier, he thought that I was trying to steal and called the cops. My roommate had to come to the store to save me. FML
Today, at a self-checkout, I scanned all my items, bagged them, and left. Only when I got outside did I realize I had completely forgotten to pay. I then noticed that security was running to stop me, and I had to explain that I wasn’t a thief, just an idiot. FML
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Top comments
KBurns207 17
Dude if you're too embarrassed to just buy some condoms, you're probably too young. Just man up and buy them... Sorry but YDI man.
doodieman 9
If you scanned them, couldn't he just look at the screen?
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Comments (148)
havok87 11
Yeah dude. Show that shit off. Be proud your getting some!
katacus 6
I really like the pill. It's free now, since you're in America, and it makes periods better, and you can have it delivered right to your house!
09Z_fml 4
If you're not old enough to buy them like a normal person you're not old enough to be using them.
arre2006 19
Lack of confidence is a bitch I presume...
Ray_of_midnight 23
If you're too embarrassed to be buying condoms then you're too immature to be having sex, doesn't matter if you're 15 or 50.
julietpage 5
if you're embarrassed about buying condoms than you aren't ready for sex
shadow7x 10
ydi
Seduced83 9
Well there's always sperm banks, grad parties, and anti abortion clinics handing them out or you find a compatible partner that has her tubes tied and have at 'er or there are other pleasure holes if worried about pregnancy and don't have condemns ill let you figure those out
biggshow13 2
I call bullshit. If you used a self-checkout machine your purchase is listed on the screen. Nice try, though...loser.
dino223 6
Sounds like you have a confidence issue Op do you feel you can't buy condoms because people will judge you on how attractive you are, and there for your self ? Beauty comes with in don't worry. As for the check out assistant I'f you protested he would instantly be in the wrong and embarrassed for his wrong assumption Lesson to be learned here speak up or else like this time and, other walks of life you will soon be kicked to the kerb