Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the self-checkout machine at the grocery store kept yelling, “PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN BAGGING AREA” while I frantically tried to scan everything. An employee came over and said a bit too loudly, “Ma’am, you have to scan the condoms before bagging them.” Of course there were people around to giggle. FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, I went to the drug store to pick up a few things. After looking for condoms for 15 minutes, I asked the cashier where I could find them. She said they keep them behind the counter due to theft. She refused to sell them to me, because they're for customers who might actually need them. FML
Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to, "Get a life. Or better pick-up lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML
Today, I was shopping with my husband. At the self-checkout, one of the items I was buying for him as a gift didn’t register. As we were walking out, I get stopped and escorted to the loss prevention office, where I was accused of stealing. FML
Today, I realized I'd lost my wallet when paying for groceries. I had to put all the items back and leave the store feeling so embarrassed in front of everyone. FML
Today, I bought a box of tampons and went to the store restroom to insert one. I then put the box inside my purse. On my way out, I got stopped by security, who yelled at me to empty my purse. He grabbed my bag, spilling the tampons everywhere. Apparently, he thought I was stealing. FML
Today, I went to the store, but after I'd selected my items, I saw that I'd forgotten my wallet. When I tried to explain to the cashier, he thought that I was trying to steal and called the cops. My roommate had to come to the store to save me. FML
Today, at a self-checkout, I scanned all my items, bagged them, and left. Only when I got outside did I realize I had completely forgotten to pay. I then noticed that security was running to stop me, and I had to explain that I wasn’t a thief, just an idiot. FML
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Top comments
KBurns207 17
Dude if you're too embarrassed to just buy some condoms, you're probably too young. Just man up and buy them... Sorry but YDI man.
doodieman 9
If you scanned them, couldn't he just look at the screen?
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Comments (148)
termin8tor786 10
Dumbass!!
Ambiguous404 6
U dnt need condomz if u hve swag lulz
chuka81 27
I wish I could downvote this comment, twice.
RadeonDerp 24
You, #30, are one of the dumbest ******* idiots I have ever seen, and I hope you fall off a cliff. I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks this, too. Using swag as an excuse to not have safe intercourse? You dumb bastard.
CharresBarkrey 16
Holy mother of ****. Kill it. Kill it before it reproduces.
TheDrifter 24
But Alan, it's more fun to pretend he was serious.
Iknoweverything 29
Even if it WAS satire, the fact that he used the word "swag" is justification enough to thumb him down, if not forcibly sterilize him.
Kukua 5
Quit feeding the troll so it can't grow any stronger.
Sir_Swaggington 6
Why are you embarrassed to buy condoms? You're not embarrassed of having sex are you? YDI for being immature.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Uhm I'm sure when the time comes that I'm sexually active, I'll be embarassed. I'm just a timid person. Always have been, always will be. That's no reason to say someone deserves it.
Wakachulak 22
Those definitely weren't ribbed for your pleasure
TKay916 15
There should be no embarrassment in trying to keep yourself safe. Be proud.
redvinesnaby 6
Did you show him your receipt?
shutupmichaela 18
dude, everyone buys condoms. get the **** over it
hopeless511 3
If you're too immature to buy condoms openly, you're too immature to be having sex.
ShakeDisPlace 10
Next time, buy those condoms with confidence OP!
theifunnyguy 6
there are plastic bags and you couldve show him tge receipt