Today, I was babysitting a little girl down the street. She pulled out her 'memory box', which contained many childhood treasures. After pulling out a variety of dresses and baby pictures, she says, "... and here's my belly button!" and plops an umbilical chord in my hands. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I showed the kids I was babysitting a picture of my daughter, and the little girl asked, "You have a baby in your belly?" I said, "No, she's not in my belly anymore," and the little girl replied, "But it's BIG," and patted my stomach. FML
Today, I had to slowly explain to my best friend that when babies are born, the umbilical cord is attached to the baby's belly-button, not the mother's. FML
Today, I was babysitting a three-year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML
Today, the kids I was babysitting somehow found a pair of my underwear. They asked if they could use them to go parachuting. FML
Today, as I was working at my babysitting job, I was watching a 3.5 year old girl. She begged and begged me to come in the jacuzzi with her, and when I put on my 2-piece bathing suit on, the young girl asked me why my stomach looked like a bagel. I looked down just to realize she was right. FML
Today, my father made his bellybutton talk. In front of my new boyfriend. FML
Today, I picked up my daughter from preschool. Her teacher handed me her nap blankets and mentioned there was an extra article of clothing I might want to take home. I looked in-between the blankets and saw a pair of my giant granny panties that had gotten mixed in with her stuff. FML
Today, I was babysitting a little girl. She told me she wanted to go to the park, so we did. As we were walking back, I was carrying her on my back. When we were almost at the front door, she told me she had to pee. I told her to hold it in for a second. As we were walking through the door, I felt a warm spot on my back. FML
Today, my class got baby dolls for the week to teach us how to be good parents. After school, I went to the store with my mom with the baby doll. When I got home, I realized that I left the baby doll in a shopping cart. FML
Today, I was babysitting my baby cousin. I was lying on my back playing with her, while holding her up in the air. As I was doing that, I made cooing noises and funny faces to get her to laugh. She laughed and threw up in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
MukyDaCookie 0
What a precious childhood memory. Every kid should keep one of those, mine is under my pillow along with my tonsils, wisdom teeth and my first crap.
kiran_fml 5
disgusting!!!
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Comments (143)
mozrox 0
Ugh... I don't know how you could have possibly deserved this one.
cocky 0
yuck. I ******* hate kids. nasty little *****.
srscrs 0
This one actually made me jump back and say "oh god". That is just strange.
baffledkitten 0
The only real FML part is that you were surprised.. My parents kept my brother's umbilical cord after he was born; it's really not that strange. I'm sorry she surprised you, though.
IHaveVertigo 0
Aw, that's cute. We kept my daughter's cord, it's just a little dried thing now though.
junomcguff_fml 0
Ugh, GROSS! Your girl is a massive freak!
EWKHou 0
I know surgeons let you keep your teeth if they removed it (A surgeon removed my loose front tooth during my appendix surgery), BUT AN UMBILICAL CORD?!
wolfy_fml 5
It takes a few days to a week for the part that is still attached to the baby to fall off and some people think it is special so they keep it. I think it is weird. I tossed my sons cord out, I mean... why would I keep a 1"-2" dried up piece of skin? lol
arcticmonkeylove 0
ughhh
aback 5
Just wait till you babysit her brother and he hands you his foreskin.
s_t_e_p_h 0
Ahaha! That is TOO funny.
darkmis1 18
That's ****** nasty! Why would someone even keep somethin like that(and even if they did, why would they show it to pple)?