Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was in a public toilet taking a dump. I then noticed someone trying to peep under the door, so I kicked them in the head as hard as I could. Turned out it was a 5-year-old looking for his parent. FML
Today, I went clothes shopping. I took my little daughter into the dressing room while I tried some clothes on. She somehow managed to open the door while I was changing. A lady outside then bitched me out for "exposing" myself to her kids. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I was in a store with my mom. I wandered off, then walked around looking for her. I spotted her, and decided to put on a ski mask to give her a scare for a laugh. I hid around a corner and yelled "BOO!" when I saw her. It wasn't my mom, and I'm now banned from that store. FML
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
Today, while shopping at my local grocery store, a young boy came up behind me and pulled my pants down while snickering. I was so shocked and horrified that I dropped the f-bomb. His mother yelled at me for "ruining his innocence". FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
Today, I saw a little boy wandering in the supermarket looking lost and distraught. I gently put my hand on his shoulder and said, “Hey buddy, where’s your mommy?” He screamed, “STRANGER DANGER!” and kicked me in the shin. His actual mom wandered over from the cheese section, gave me a dirty look, and walked off. FML.
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
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Top comments
englishmuffin 0
wow horrible luck though i don't know if i'd kick things just out of instinct
tikimuppet 11
I would probably have done a similar thing
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Comments (299)
shinyeeveekj 0
He totally deserved it! IDK but this just makes me laugh!
alexlovescandy 3
It's really not your fault. I probably would have done the same thing... But I probably wouldn't have kicked him.
giggitygoo12 7
Sooooo???
LissaMccracken 23
Awh. Poor little kid. But its not your fault, I probably would have done the same if someone tried to look.
red61977 9
Why want he with his mother? It's her fault she wasn't keeping an eye on him. Shoulda kicked her too!
klg32 17
If this happened to me, I would've quickly gotten dressed and either help the kid find his mother and/or told an employee and have them contact security to help
bleedingglitter 24
I elbowed a 10 year old child once who came up behind me and hugged me hard under the arms while I was in a parking lot. I'm really short so he was just a little taller than me and I thought it was a man trying to grab me. Apparently he thought I was his sister from behind
PadfootLovesPie 16
the kid didn't deserve it, he's 4 HOWEVER people need to watch their kids and you did it out of instinct. FYL op.
annoyedperson 25
I've done that same thing I didn't feel bad
PotatoesAndCake 26
Holy shit, I just remembered. A year ago, I was changing in a store changing room and this little boy tried to open the door, which was locked, whilst panting and whining. Then, his mum said, "Sweetie, that's not the toilet." When I was finished, I called out, "Toilet's free!"