Animals: Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I...

By poopedon - 26/04/2009 03:10 - Canada

Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 987

You deserved it 18 147

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Same thing different taste

Life's a beach

By Brittanyy_leigh - 17/12/2009 07:57 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 143

You deserved it 6 014

By shitlicker - 08/12/2015 04:38 - United States - La Verne

Today, I lost my balance trying to get my bag out of my car. In doing so, my lips came in contact with some bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 177

You deserved it 2 138

By targe - 19/10/2011 09:40 - Australia

Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 845

You deserved it 3 599

Cool moves

By Juanna - 13/01/2010 08:07 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. We were walking in a park when I noticed a funny smell. I looked down and realized I'd stepped in dog crap. I tried to nonchalantly rub it off on the grass, but instead hit a patch of wet grass and slipped onto my butt, right into a pile of goose poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 679

You deserved it 4 521

By #201 - 05/02/2009 13:23 - United States

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 466

You deserved it 16 549

By oops1234 - 16/04/2009 14:38 - United States

Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 503

You deserved it 17 447

By zzfreakshow - 15/10/2013 00:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 830

You deserved it 5 035

By MJ3105 - 07/05/2009 11:36 - Israel

Today, I was eating at a restaurant patio with a few friends. After the waitress cleaned up our table there was a drop of mayonnaise on the table. I wiped it with my finger and licked it. It wasn’t mayo, it was bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 167

You deserved it 153 024

Life's a beach

By Derek - 28/05/2021 20:01 - United States

Today, I went tanning on the beach. I found a nice spot close to shore and laid there with my towel and sunglasses. A few hours later, I awoke to waves splashing at me. My towel was soaked and my sunglasses must have washed off the shore. Damn high tide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 1 159

Snap!

By wheelchairgirl - 16/12/2016 01:21 - Denmark

Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 374

You deserved it 1 109

RhiannonD 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 12:36

Why would your boyfriend squeeze a blob of sunscreen and just leave it like that on your leg?

LilKonvicted 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 12:16

Haven't you heard?? Bird is the word

Comments

stonerchu 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 12:36

If your bf left a blob of sunscreen on your leg that's equally mean.

meepmeep_fml 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 13:07

are you retarded? is your boyfriend retarded? why would it be sweet of him to squeeze a blob of sunscreen on your leg and leave it while youre sleeping?

_apecakez 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 13:13

bright side: it was bird shit, not an old, creepy man's semen. got to be happy with that. :D

dabomblyktiktikk 0

Saturday 31 July 2010 20:22

i was just thinking that XD

xstaticdelta 6

Sunday 26 April 2009 13:16

Lol you shouldn't just take stuff and rub it all over you

itsTiffany 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 13:55

Ewwwww that really blows.

24788 6

Sunday 26 April 2009 13:59

Birds seem to be getting smarter. I don't know though birds are everywhere.

f_ckerdef_ck 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 14:10

why smell your hands?

wantmenot 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 14:13

Another bird fail FML lol.

peoc 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 14:18

damn, before reading the end i thought he had left his 'man juice' on her? hahahahaha

stealthmuffin 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 14:37

LOL 13. @OP: Even if your boyfriend was into just leaving blobs of sunscreen on you and not rubbing it in, there'd be more blobs all over your body. If he was into it and put it only on one leg, he's kind of retarded. Also, why exactly would your boyfriend just put a blob of sunscreen and then leave? And why is it sweet?