Animals: Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I...

By poopedon - 26/04/2009 03:10 - Canada

Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 988

You deserved it 18 147

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Life's a beach

By Brittanyy_leigh - 17/12/2009 07:57 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 143

You deserved it 6 015

By shitlicker - 08/12/2015 04:38 - United States - La Verne

Today, I lost my balance trying to get my bag out of my car. In doing so, my lips came in contact with some bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 177

You deserved it 2 138

By targe - 19/10/2011 09:40 - Australia

Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 846

You deserved it 3 599

Cool moves

By Juanna - 13/01/2010 08:07 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. We were walking in a park when I noticed a funny smell. I looked down and realized I'd stepped in dog crap. I tried to nonchalantly rub it off on the grass, but instead hit a patch of wet grass and slipped onto my butt, right into a pile of goose poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 679

You deserved it 4 521

By #201 - 05/02/2009 13:23 - United States

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 466

You deserved it 16 549

By oops1234 - 16/04/2009 14:38 - United States

Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 503

You deserved it 17 447

By zzfreakshow - 15/10/2013 00:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 831

You deserved it 5 035

By MJ3105 - 07/05/2009 11:36 - Israel

Today, I was eating at a restaurant patio with a few friends. After the waitress cleaned up our table there was a drop of mayonnaise on the table. I wiped it with my finger and licked it. It wasn’t mayo, it was bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 167

You deserved it 153 025

Life's a beach

By Derek - 28/05/2021 20:01 - United States

Today, I went tanning on the beach. I found a nice spot close to shore and laid there with my towel and sunglasses. A few hours later, I awoke to waves splashing at me. My towel was soaked and my sunglasses must have washed off the shore. Damn high tide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 1 161

Snap!

By wheelchairgirl - 16/12/2016 01:21 - Denmark

Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 374

You deserved it 1 109

RhiannonD 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 12:36

Why would your boyfriend squeeze a blob of sunscreen and just leave it like that on your leg?

LilKonvicted 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 12:16

Haven't you heard?? Bird is the word

Comments

PredyJessica 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 4:41

a bird poop isnt that big and there poop arent all white unless its dry therefor i don't believe this!

Danielcremeans 0

Friday 5 June 2009 2:56

That sucks! But it is also ******* holirious.

turbogirl 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 11:14

And to think... if someone had seen the bird shit on you, and then you smelling your hand.... that'd be pretty hilarious!

lMfA0_fml 0

Friday 24 July 2009 8:10

hahaha whoaa happy im not chuu lmao but i am so so sorry :)

lMfA0_fml 0

Friday 24 July 2009 8:12

haha happy im not her !!!

lanababee 0

Monday 2 August 2010 8:05

Ohhhhhhahahahaha! How sick is that?! Lol.

6ixtynin9 2

Sunday 15 August 2010 5:04

poop

Hoplaka 0

Tuesday 21 September 2010 5:30

Am I the only one wondering why she smelled her hand in the first place? :/

iRichiq 3

Friday 1 October 2010 0:18

probably the cheaper solution

truehitman2010 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 1:26

atleast he didn't cum on you

Keywords

Transportation Awkward Cars Embarrassing Kids Family Babysitter Relatable Thief Money Mental health Health Depression Work Wanker Bodyshaming Love Annoying Vacation Students Parenting Intimacy AITA First Dates Singing Animals Cats Public freakouts Weddings Cops

The Top

Today, my 15 year-old son told me he had his first kiss. I told him how I was the same age when I had mine, and then I told him all kinds of wild stories about things I did in my childhood and college life. Truth is, I made them all up. I didn't get kissed till I was 24, and laid till I was 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 939

You deserved it 14 030

Today, a police officer pulled me over while I was riding my high performance motorbike. He asked if I knew why he'd pulled me over. It was too tempting to resist at the time, but in hindsight telling him ,“Because I let you?” was not the best idea I’ve ever had. Cops have no sense of humour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 706

The Top

Today, I was woken up by the sound of my electric piano. It seems my cat is Mozart's reincarnation and, after finding out how to turn the piano on, decided that 3 a.m. is a good time to practice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 032

You deserved it 479

Today, my cat was in the bathroom when I was undressing to get into the shower. I realized that he was the only male to have seen me naked in the past two months. Then he started scratching the door for me to let him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 631

You deserved it 9 056

Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't spend the day with me as he had his grandmother's funeral. Lonely, I went shopping and I bumped into his mum having lunch with his 'dead' grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 543

You deserved it 2 943

Today, I was looking at an old post between my ex and me on Facebook. Everything I was reading was adorable. Just as I was reminiscing about the great relationship we had, I look to the right of the screen to see the girl he cheated on me with in "People you may know." Thanks Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 562

You deserved it 8 216

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. When it came time for us to leave, I saw him write something on the receipt for our waitress. I managed to get a quick look; it was his number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 726

You deserved it 2 747

Today, the last customer of the night shift handed me their money along with a wad of their hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 715

You deserved it 2 390

Same thing different taste

Life's a beach

Cool moves

Life's a beach

Snap!

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