Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML
Today, a child was choking in the store I work at. He was alone in the aisle, so I started the Heimlich without his parents' permission. After dislodging what was caught, his mother turned the corner and went screaming to my manager for touching her kid. I got a write up. FML
Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML
Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML
Today, I was eating out at a restaurant with my family. My dad had drained most of our bottle of wine, so thinking he'd be a little less uptight than usual, I reached over to pour myself some. He swatted my hand away and started yelling at me for being a "degenerate drunk". FML
Today, at the mall, my 4-year-old son threw up on a man's shoes. When he approached me, I immediately machine-gun mouthed him in public. The man apparently is a doctor and concernedly said that my son may have a rare gastric disease based on the puke. I got him checked, and he's right. FML
Today, I went to pick up a pizza with my kids for an easy dinner. As soon as I opened my mouth to order, the 2-year-old in my arms vomited into it. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML
Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML
Today, while at a restaurant with my boyfriend, a piece of ice got stuck in my throat. I couldn't get his attention until after it melted because he was busy checking in on foursquare. When he finally noticed my freaking out and I told him what had happened, he laughed. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mrmystery96 0
I say let the little bastard drink.
Jay1D 0
When someones choking you make them drink?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (267)
amandamurray 2
if you're choking, air can't get through. why would you think a coke could go down??
asianpersuasian2 9
well what were you supposed to do? let your kid choke to death? a little beer never hurt anybody
cul8r 4
I don't see the problem: Drinking a bit of alcohol at the age of 8 is a totally different league of problem than choking to death. You did the right thing, you went for the bigger problem. That's excellent problem-solving talent you've got there! Some people seem to think that sober and dead is politically correct and socially acceptable, as opposed to ever so slightly intoxicated and alive.
cul8r 4
PS: In other countries, this wouldn't be an issue at all. I'm pretty sure that the average French 8-year-old already has tasted some wine and lived to tell the tale. Sure, it should not be a regular drink (not even irregularly) at that age, but "dipping the tongue in", as we say in Germany, really doesn't hurt. (over here, beer experience starts early, of course)
i_luv_u3030 3
um when someone choking u dont make them drink sonething that just makes so then their choking and gurgling the liquid u gave them nice job
pyro1400 3
david was already drunk when he went to the dentist!
PrimeStarscream 30
Well, it was give him a drink or he choked to death. Let those jerks stare.
Magnimus 4
YDI for bing a dumbass. You could have actually made it worse. Learn some first aid.
thisgirl313 0
If it was an accident then its not a big problem. Not he's gonna get drunk from one beer.
kitsune3 20
I can't entirely blame you, OP, but ever heard of the heimlich? You acted fast and that's good, and at least your kid is okay. Let the assholes think what they want. But maybe next time be ready to use other options.
BeanieBGone 6
Hey, at least you saved his life!